Maple Review :: View topic - [原创]《桔子的天空》

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

[原创]《桔子的天空》

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-11-05 06:29:11 Post subject: [原创]《桔子的天空》

请批评桔子的天空 08年的桔子生病了于是，这个呼吸之秋非常憋闷谁也不愿掰开那个太阳里面的月牙柔弱的虫子潜伏在一个核心的内部让亲爱的星星更加酸涩

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-11-05 17:21:15 Post subject:

很形象

明天朔
童生

Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection

Posted: 2008-11-06 04:55:59 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

很形象

谢谢批阅；问好！

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2008-11-07 03:17:47 Post subject:

把事实揉进诗中，很巧妙。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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