是有缘
秀才
Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741
是有缘Collection |
 Posted: 2008-10-09 20:34:30 Post subject: 【七律】 又重阳 |
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斜风细雨又重阳，枯叶飘零落满塘。
寂寞楼高荷更瘦，痴心梦短菊还香。
停杯恰送西天雁，举首难逢北极光。
未有豪情今醉酒，愁来永夜怎回乡？ |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2008-10-10 07:45:32 Post subject: |
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| 好诗。但“举首难逢北极光”中的“极”似乎出律了，请检查。极是平声，这里该用仄声。 |
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是有缘
秀才
Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741
是有缘Collection |
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notcoffee
童生
Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 53
notcoffeeCollection |
| Posted: 2008-10-10 08:12:04 Post subject: |
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极依古韵是仄!
_________________
云入虚怀无上下 水逢雅境自方圆 |
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菩提子
童生
Joined: 06 Sep 2007
Posts: 32
菩提子Collection |
| Posted: 2008-10-10 09:21:07 Post subject: |
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| "痴心梦短菊还香"好句! |
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qinghongh
榜眼
Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110
qinghonghCollection |
| Posted: 2008-10-14 07:59:30 Post subject: |
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| 是有缘 wrote: |
谢谢qinghongh兄评阅。“极”现代汉语读平声，但古诗里属于入声字。请参见：
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谢谢！ |
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