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[原创新诗] 我的灵魂拖着肉体去流浪
William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-08-22 15:04:11    Post subject: [原创新诗] 我的灵魂拖着肉体去流浪 Reply with quote

我的灵魂拖着肉体去流浪

周道模

我把肉体安顿在故乡河边的柳树下

我把灵魂闲置在世纪如疯的惶惑外

耶酥诞生前我已看见肉体受难的形象

风云刚发黑我已听见灵魂出窍的雷声

灵魂拖着肉体的重就像苍鹰抓起大山的背

灵魂扯着肉体的痛就像阳光抓出地球的水

阅简体汉字读繁体汉字灵魂探险扰故人

从海洋溯河流上雪峰肉体高蹈尤歌吟

时间刻老了肉体灵魂游进了永恒的河流

空间囚小了肉体灵魂浩荡出自由的梦境

灵魂在飞翔肉体在蹒跚肉体是灵魂的阴影

肉体在哭泣灵魂在歌唱灵魂是肉体的光明

从清晨阅读到傍晚我的肉体生白发起疾病

从汉字写作到English我的灵魂跨国界生风云

灵魂不要走啊肉体惧怕空洞成废墟

肉体你要走啊灵魂担心连累被焚毁

肉体啊,灵魂我拖你到何时流浪向何方

灵魂啊,肉体我终被焚烧你要蹈火而生

2006-05-09上午10:15草
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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秀水
秀才


Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 221
Location: 山东聊城
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PostPosted: 2008-08-22 16:04:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵与肉的矛盾纠结在一起。表达得真准确。学习了。问好
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秀水:省青协会员.在《星星诗刊》《绿风》《诗选刊》《常青藤诗刊》等发表诗歌散文二百余篇。兼写童话。邮箱xshx100@163.com
秀水博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/feizoudeshui
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-08-23 15:55:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢秀水的鼓励!
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荷梦
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Joined: 19 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: 2008-08-24 02:58:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言上很有特色!问好!
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-08-25 04:10:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢荷梦的鼓励,我有意和流行诗语拉开距离。
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爱月
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Joined: 12 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-08-26 01:20:31    Post subject: Reply with quote

问候朋友有力的表达,还是希望加些标点符号。方便偶浏览习惯!嘿嘿。
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诗歌、诗剧。以文会友。http://blog.sina.com.cn/juneraiyue112
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-08-27 12:36:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢爱月的鼓励!

现时兴叙述诗语,连接词、标点、断句、跨行、跨节等均是标志。

但我天性喜欢抒情性的、音韵化的和歌唱性的诗语,这跟个人天性和诗歌观念有关。
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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韩少君
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Joined: 06 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-08-27 15:44:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵魂拖着肉体的重就像苍鹰抓起大山的背


欣赏 写成十四行如何 很像十四行的体例
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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溪语
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PostPosted: 2008-08-27 18:34:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵魂在飞翔肉体在蹒跚肉体是灵魂的阴影

肉体在哭泣灵魂在歌唱灵魂是肉体的光明
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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William Zhou周道模
探花


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PostPosted: 2008-08-29 17:41:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢少君和溪语的鼓励! 改为十四行? 让我想想。
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半溪明月
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PostPosted: 2008-08-30 17:54:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵魂拖着肉体的重就像苍鹰抓起大山的背
灵魂扯着肉体的痛就像阳光抓出地球的水

句子很有力,有特点~
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
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Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-08-31 14:52:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢明月的鼓励!你们的喜爱就是我的幸福。
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2008-08-31 17:21:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

道模, 此诗似很沉, 还好吗?
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-01 16:28:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢白水君的关心!

就生活现状来说,我现在是幸福期:自由地行动、自由地思想、自由地读书、上网和写作。

这首诗写于06年,如果说痛苦较多,是“写作者”思想精神层面上的东西,不是实际生活世俗生

活的素描。
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白水
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PostPosted: 2008-09-01 17:42:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

那就好, 我多虑了 Embarassed
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