| 东江湖主 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 10 Aug 2008
 Posts: 115
 
 东江湖主Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-08-16 17:19:26    Post subject: 炊烟 |   |  
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				| 藏在大山之中的尘世 在愈加难觅的真实里
 添一把柴
 熏黑了脸
 
 无论人还是时光
 离不开这一顿
 袅袅升起的烟
 从清晨到日落
 说淡它就淡,说浓它就浓
 
 
 北方不知道
 南方,在一个僻静村落里
 怎能
 不食人间烟火
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		| 赵福治 探花
 
  
 Joined: 30 May 2006
 Posts: 3456
 Location: 中国北京
 赵福治Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-08-17 05:02:45    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 喜欢结尾. |  | 
	
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		| 白水 大学士
 
  
 Joined: 02 Oct 2006
 Posts: 14102
 Location: TORONTO
 白水Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-08-18 16:38:18    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 欣赏. |  | 
	
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		| 小枪 童生
 
 
 Joined: 08 Jan 2007
 Posts: 35
 Location: 北京
 小枪Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-08-18 16:40:01    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 开头和结尾都不错,中间或可修改。 _________________
 http://www.fyrclub.com
 翻译人俱乐部论坛欢迎您。
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		| 东江湖主 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 10 Aug 2008
 Posts: 115
 
 东江湖主Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-08-18 22:55:48    Post subject: |   |  
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				| 谢读,问好!
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		| 东江湖主 秀才
 
 
 Joined: 10 Aug 2008
 Posts: 115
 
 东江湖主Collection
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				|  Posted: 2008-08-18 22:57:02    Post subject: |   |  
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	  | 小枪 wrote: |  
	  | 开头和结尾都不错,中间或可修改。 |  感谢评点,问好小枪!
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