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荒沙夜曲之《二泉映月》1[2]  Next
白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2006-12-13 21:58:03    Post subject: 荒沙夜曲之《二泉映月》 Reply with quote



照片取自百度

荒沙夜曲
之《二泉映月》


这一片湛蓝的鳞光 是你
死去又
活来的灵魂
在第一千零一个
晚上,你翩然回首 聆听
第一千零二夜的故事,塔克拉玛干的

神殿 除了风,已了无
琴声
我知道
你走了, 远远地
驼铃 带走一束不再哭泣的马尾
却把眼睛埋入海
的蓝色

月光淡淡的
洒下来
捧起 两簇颤动的睫毛
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
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PostPosted: 2006-12-13 22:22:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 wrote:


荒沙夜曲
之《二泉映月》


这一片湛蓝的鳞光 是你
死去又
活来的灵魂
在第一千零一个
晚上,你翩然回首 聆听
第一千零二夜的故事,塔克拉玛干的

神殿 除了风,已了无
琴声
我知道
你走了, 远远地
驼铃 带走一束不再哭泣的马尾
却把眼睛埋入海
的蓝色

月光淡淡的
洒下来
捧起 两簇颤动的睫毛


白水的形象群的处理和互动 越来越见功力!


神殿 除了风,已了无
琴声
我知道
你走了, 远远地
驼铃 带走一束不再哭泣的马尾
却把眼睛埋入海
的蓝色

《》非常精彩,拜服拜服 ;))


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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2006-12-13 22:25:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

最难得 是你优很好的审美观

然后你更能利用美学的再创造 写出美丽的诗歌!

你把草丛 想象成 两簇颤动的睫毛

太太太太 精彩了


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kokho
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PostPosted: 2006-12-13 23:38:41    Post subject: Reply with quote


.
一大片的记忆 
.      kokho 14/12/2006

虽然干躁也无可避免的游离
虽然在无边的热和旱里煎熬

也还是无助的躺成
那一涟涟连到天边的心内漪文

不管风如何的摆弄挑泼
再大的沙尘暴,就推成了起伏的冲向海角的决心

当苦难荆棘般的扎根还吐出施虐的得意口气
就抓住那飘过的湿。。。
.    把天看到梦寐的颜色都喊出来!


.
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孙慧峰
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Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 97

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PostPosted: 2006-12-14 03:09:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗!
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左岸
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Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 13:50:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

月光淡淡的
洒下来
捧起 两簇颤动的睫毛
干净明沏,意深境远,画面感强,尾句堪称神来之笔!
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
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PostPosted: 2006-12-15 19:25:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:

一大片的记忆 
.      kokho 14/12/2006

虽然干躁也无可避免的游离
虽然在无边的热和旱里煎熬

也还是无助的躺成
那一涟涟连到天边的心内漪文

不管风如何的摆弄挑泼
再大的沙尘暴,就推成了起伏的冲向海角的决心

当苦难荆棘般的扎根还吐出施虐的得意口气
就抓住那飘过的湿。。。
.    把天看到梦寐的颜色都喊出来!


.


谢谢你的鼓励及和诗. 对不起, 这两天忙准备PRESENTATION, 昨晚又被朋友拉去参加圣诞PARTY, 未及读你的诗歌(不过挺得意, 在PARTY抽到四张电影票的红包 Wink )
今天细读大作, 果然有过人之处, 特别喜欢这句:抓住那飘过的湿。。。
.    把天看到梦寐的颜色都喊出来
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2006-12-15 19:28:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

孙慧峰 wrote:
好诗!

谢谢鼓励.
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
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白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-15 19:31:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

左岸 wrote:
月光淡淡的
洒下来
捧起 两簇颤动的睫毛
干净明沏,意深境远,画面感强,尾句堪称神来之笔!


我还担心这样写隐了二泉呢. 能看见就好, 谢谢你 Smile
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和平岛
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-12-16 21:23:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

死去又
活来的灵魂

我觉得,这是精彩的中心, 让后面的视野开阔了起来
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杯中冲浪
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PostPosted: 2006-12-17 05:15:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

驼铃 带走一束不再哭泣的马尾
却把眼睛埋入海
的蓝色
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维鹿延
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-12-17 07:54:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗,学习了!
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kokho
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PostPosted: 2006-12-17 14:13:49    Post subject: Reply with quote

月光 wrote:


谢谢你的鼓励及和诗. 对不起, 这两天忙准备PRESENTATION, 昨晚又被朋友拉去参加圣诞PARTY, 未及读你的诗歌(不过挺得意, 在PARTY抽到四张电影票的红包 Wink )
今天细读大作, 果然有过人之处, 特别喜欢这句:抓住那飘过的湿。。。
.    把天看到梦寐的颜色都喊出来


你喜欢就好  Cool Embarassed Razz


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迪拜
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Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

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PostPosted: 2006-12-17 18:11:46    Post subject: 美丽的诗句 Reply with quote

美丽的诗句
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
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PostPosted: 2006-12-18 18:55:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

和平岛 wrote:
死去又
活来的灵魂

我觉得,这是精彩的中心, 让后面的视野开阔了起来


PEACE,THANKS. YOU ARE RIGHT.
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-12-18 19:00:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

北方狼 wrote:
驼铃 带走一束不再哭泣的马尾
却把眼睛埋入海
的蓝色


北方狼, 这QUOTE让我想起了一个人......

诗歌在诗外
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白水
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PostPosted: 2006-12-18 19:03:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

维鹿延 wrote:
好诗,学习了!

谢谢鼓励.还得向你们多请教, 盼交流提高.
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-18 19:06:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

kokho wrote:
月光 wrote:


谢谢你的鼓励及和诗. 对不起, 这两天忙准备PRESENTATION, 昨晚又被朋友拉去参加圣诞PARTY, 未及读你的诗歌(不过挺得意, 在PARTY抽到四张电影票的红包 Wink )
今天细读大作, 果然有过人之处, 特别喜欢这句:抓住那飘过的湿。。。
.    把天看到梦寐的颜色都喊出来


你喜欢就好  Cool Embarassed Razz



多谢KOK, 你的诗歌很有新意. Very Happy
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 2006-12-18 19:09:36    Post subject: Re: 美丽的诗句 Reply with quote

迪拜 wrote:
美丽的诗句

谢谢迪拜鼓励
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司马策风
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PostPosted: 2006-12-28 00:46:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

读过几次的好诗。既然众人喜欢,就加精华吧。
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