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发一组《五角星》,大家批
李宏
童生


Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-27 00:00:57    Post subject: 发一组《五角星》,大家批 Reply with quote

五角星

问/李宏

星星

很清晰的记忆
在很小的时候
学会了画的第一个图形
五角星,印满了正面的墙

帽子

小时候,我有一顶帽子
军绿的颜色
映衬捉你夺目的耀眼
叩在我的脑门
五角星,记忆是红色的

国旗

第一次与你近距离接触
整齐的少先队礼
迎着风,冉冉升起的红色
五角星,在风中跳舞

2008.7.27
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叶英儿
秀才


Joined: 03 Jun 2006
Posts: 577
Location: 中国
叶英儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-27 00:30:12    Post subject: 不错. Reply with quote

不错.
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-27 02:02:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵动的小诗
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李宏
童生


Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-27 17:32:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢大家!
有一个错别字。
“映衬捉你夺目的耀眼”的“捉”应为“着”
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