Maple Review :: View topic - 发一组《五角星》，大家批

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

发一组《五角星》，大家批

李宏
童生

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection

Posted: 2008-07-27 00:00:57 Post subject: 发一组《五角星》，大家批

五角星问/李宏星星很清晰的记忆在很小的时候学会了画的第一个图形五角星，印满了正面的墙帽子小时候，我有一顶帽子军绿的颜色映衬捉你夺目的耀眼叩在我的脑门五角星，记忆是红色的国旗第一次与你近距离接触整齐的少先队礼迎着风，冉冉升起的红色五角星，在风中跳舞 2008.7.27 _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/fandijki08

叶英儿
秀才

Joined: 03 Jun 2006
Posts: 577
Location: 中国
叶英儿Collection

Posted: 2008-07-27 00:30:12 Post subject: 不错.

不错.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-07-27 02:02:03 Post subject:

灵动的小诗

李宏
童生

Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 70
Location: 贵州
李宏Collection

Posted: 2008-07-27 17:32:33 Post subject:

谢谢大家！有一个错别字。 “映衬捉你夺目的耀眼”的“捉”应为“着” _________________ http://blog.sina.com.cn/fandijki08

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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