Maple Review :: View topic - 邂逅（外二首）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

邂逅（外二首）

客舍练达
童生

Joined: 27 Jun 2008
Posts: 13

客舍练达Collection

Posted: 2008-07-05 00:02:23 Post subject: 邂逅（外二首）

邂逅我与伊人对饮。情感瞬间捱过了黑洞浪漫儿时撒尿和稀泥的情趣碰然心动于俩小无猜却不能重演儿时的游戏举杯邀明月敢想未来再相见浪漫今宵什么情结她，或者她们。绝对是周敦颐笔下可远观而不可亵玩焉的爱之莲特定的月亮之下。造化的丽质曲线，任凭那风美丽地蹂躏终有一天也许是月亮最圆的一天也许是你最寂寥的一天周围的悲与欢，终于与你无关尘埃落淀时光变淡窗外，荣与辱落叶般飘零虽然不可挽回，你还会固执呵护着你女儿的女儿，也许是外孙目光贪婪在，我的薄薄的诗页 _________________ 博客：http://blog.sina.com.cn/ksbk168

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2008-07-05 09:48:13 Post subject:

有诗意的跳动,但在素材处理时发酵和提炼很欠缺. 再加强就更好了. 问好 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-07-05 14:59:54 Post subject:

喜欢可策风的评哦～

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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