Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007. 		  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
子弹的悲哀
kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-25 16:35:17    Post subject: 子弹的悲哀 Reply with quote
子弹的悲哀

我有一个枪弹绑成的烟灰缸
三十个二十毫米高的列兵围成一个浅浅的
坟场，铮铮地泛着暗黄而温柔的光芒
他们在这里列队不是要去炮火轰隆的战场
他们仅有的的使命不过是承接
我一次次弹入的灰烬和烧毁的理想

他们都不曾见过枪，也习惯了庸碌和平常
直到今晨我发现二十三号竟擅自脱岗
我没有心思去寻找这个逃兵
只是一次次凝望他走后留下的空旷
并开始怀疑他并没有实现自己杀人的理想
或许现在已经迷失在郊区的某个垃圾场
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-25 17:48:49    Post subject: Reply with quote
并开始怀疑他并没有实现自己杀人的理想
或许现在已经迷失在郊区的某个垃圾场

有象征的意思,去你博看了下，诗歌写的不错，欣赏学习了!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
戴玨
秀才


Joined: 03 Jan 2007
Posts: 808

戴玨Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-26 05:55:42    Post subject: Reply with quote
第一節較好。
_________________
I labour by singing light
我的blog
我的專欄
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-26 16:06:15    Post subject: Reply with quote
问好二位，请多多批评！
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-27 20:33:20    Post subject: Reply with quote
两节都不错，均衡。
如果要说缺点，就是内容上有些“诗人化”地脱离生活。这点跟我类似 Laughing
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-29 16:30:14    Post subject: Reply with quote
nobody wrote:
两节都不错，均衡。
...


是啊，可是有时候我不知道生活是什么。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog Visit poster's website
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-29 17:44:32    Post subject: Reply with quote
kino wrote:
nobody wrote:
两节都不错，均衡。
...


是啊，可是有时候我不知道生活是什么。


Very Happy EASY, 三餐一打盹 Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Blog
钓月
秀才


Joined: 12 Apr 2008
Posts: 409
Location: 中国江苏
钓月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-29 18:06:55    Post subject: Reply with quote
想象独特!
_________________
欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮

http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME