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(原创)满江红*致日语班诸弟子
yinxiaoyuan
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Location: 中国北京
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PostPosted: 2008-06-04 23:17:39    Post subject: (原创)满江红*致日语班诸弟子 Reply with quote

满江红*致日语班诸弟子
殷晓媛
百卷难足,待溯古,一观苍莽。斟妙语,先贤慷爽。挥毫余响。
翰藻铭心开劲流,禅机掷地成金蟒。句终浅,欲纳北溟声,真霄壤。
轻名利,仰宗匠;知韬晦,歌行帐。纵骨铮如塔,栉风无恙。
儒袒赤心兵帅逊,气通碧宇山河畅。数青山,尽我辈姿仪——连秋嶂!

背景:公司开办日语班,忝师位,有十六弟子。
(本词以《满江红》词牌诸格中辛弃疾“点火樱桃”一首格式为范。)
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黄洋界
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Location: 多伦多,加拿大
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PostPosted: 2008-06-05 05:17:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

殷殷寄语.
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喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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戴玨
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Joined: 03 Jan 2007
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PostPosted: 2008-06-05 15:19:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

"先贤慷爽。"像是少了一字。其他如“流”,“浅”字平仄不對。
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yinxiaoyuan
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PostPosted: 2008-06-05 16:02:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

是的。按照辛弃疾原词格式,确实还有一字。填此词时,“先贤慷爽”原有一“慕”字。

“辛棄疾
點火櫻桃。照一架、酴醾如雪。春正好、見龍孫穿破。紫苔蒼壁。
●●○○ ●●● ○○○● ○●● ●○○○● ●○○●
乳燕引雛飛力弱。流鶯喚友嬌聲怯。問春歸、不肯帶愁歸。腸千結。
●●●○○●● ○○●●○○● ●○○ ●●●○○ ○○●
層樓望。春山疊。家何在。煙波隔。把古今遺恨。向他誰說。
○○● ○○● ○○● ○○● ●●○○● ●○○●
蝴蝶不傳千里夢。子規叫斷三更月。聽聲聲、枕上勸人歸。歸難得。
○●●○○●● ●○●●○○● ●○○ ●●●○○ ○○●

此亦與柳詞同,惟前段第三句添一字異。”

但后来看“满江红”正格,该处应为四字,比如:
“柳永
暮雨初收。長川靜、征帆夜落。臨島嶼、蓼煙疏淡。葦風蕭索。
◎●○○ ⊙⊙● ⊙○◎● ⊙◎◎ ◎○⊙● ◎○○● 
幾許漁人橫短艇。盡將燈火歸村落。遣行客、當此念回程。傷漂泊。
◎●⊙○○●● ◎○⊙●○○● ●⊙◎ ⊙●●○○ ○○●
桐江好。煙漠漠。波似染。山如削。繞嚴陵灘畔。鷺飛魚躍。
○⊙● ○◎● ○◎● ○○● ◎⊙⊙⊙◎ ◎⊙○●
遊宦區區成底事。平生況有雲泉約。歸去來、一曲仲宣吟。從軍樂。
⊙●⊙○○●● ⊙○◎●○○● ⊙◎⊙ ◎●●○○ ○○●”

不知道这种情况,应该按照几个字来填?(才疏学浅,惭愧。。。)
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戴玨
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PostPosted: 2008-06-08 10:53:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

既然選的是辛詞格式,便應按那格式來填。
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钓月
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PostPosted: 2008-06-08 17:12:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

气势逼人!
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欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮

http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong
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