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新生
zhanglu441
童生


Joined: 02 Jun 2008
Posts: 1

zhanglu441Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-02 16:58:31    Post subject: 新生 Reply with quote

新生
阿爸静静地候在,
山垭口老槐树前,
混浊的眸子,
淌满慈祥;
阿妈惦着小脚尖,
走遍十里羊肠,
老树皮的大手,
紧紧拽着女儿衣裳。
阿婆安详地望着,
山洼洼红花花,
皱纹写满安详。
突然,
山坳那头,
杜鹃声声啼血,
万马竞相践踏,
晴空红日坠海,
平地一声惊雷,
黑色
布满苍穹,
哀号
响遍原野,

在骨子里升起,
撕心裂肺。
淅淅沥沥的雨,
紧紧下起,
涮白的泥巴墙,
残留悲伤;
光溜溜的石像,
眉骨紧锁;
......
哟呵,哟呵,哟呵,
铿锵的号子传来,
踢踏,踢踏,踢踏,
整齐的步伐响起,
山地里,
猛地窜出,
一棵含泪小草,
崖头上的蓝莲花,
悄然绽放。
联系人:张露 QQ:40446404 email:zhanglu441@163.com
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-06-02 19:07:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

语言优美讲究。但同时有些空泛,不如直接了当。个见。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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