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【怀念一个地方】
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-05 03:59:56    Post subject: 【怀念一个地方】 Reply with quote

【怀念一个地方】

那是个靠近天堂的地方
海子用蓝把我洗得天空一样
太阳为所有风景镀上神的光泽

十一月的阳光下,我头顶白云
一个人走上通往天堂的梯子
没有尽头的红枕木
红灿灿,一路弯过桦木林

我听到的鸟叫,如天堂细语
它们代替上帝发言
我背对潋滟,一湖秋水嵌进镜框
青瘦一张脸,连上帝也看到了沧桑

是的,我日渐衰老,靠近上帝
用这架红木梯。许多时候
它隐而不现。为使我们走得更轻松
翠廊上,上帝画出鸟声和水声

如今,我早已回来
用七魂之一换得半片浮云
远方的鸟儿,它衔来风
云散云聚。从此你魂不附体
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-05-05 06:11:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

这是一个什么样的地方呢
感觉缺乏背景,其后的内容,找不到支撑点
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-05 07:09:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
这是一个什么样的地方呢
感觉缺乏背景,其后的内容,找不到支撑点


是我去年去过的一个地方,海子,天堂都是九寨沟代表性的名称.
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-16 10:40:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

【怀念一个地方----九寨天堂】



那是个靠近天堂的地方
海子用蓝把我洗得天空一样
太阳为所有风景镀上神的光泽

十一月的阳光下,我头顶白云
一个人走上通往天堂的梯子
没有尽头的红枕木
红灿灿,一路弯过桦木林

我听到的鸟叫,如天堂细语
它们代替上帝发言
我背对潋滟,一湖秋水嵌进镜框
青瘦一张脸,连上帝也看到了沧桑

是的,我日渐衰老,靠近上帝
用这架红木梯。许多时候
它隐而不现。为使我们走得更轻松
翠廊上,上帝画出鸟声和水声

而今,我早已回来
怀揣半片浮云,心中的梦一低再低
如果此刻我仍怀念,朋友——
一半因你要到来,一半因你将离去

修改结尾~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-16 10:49:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

月亮, 早点休息.
地震之后要防瘟疫, 注意身体, 照顾家人还有乡亲们.
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-05-16 11:26:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

地震之前写的,好象有预感
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鹿向亮
童生


Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Posts: 36
Location: 燕赵故里
鹿向亮Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-16 23:32:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个结尾 有点意思
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