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时光的故事
曲元奇
秀才


Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-09 20:28:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

令人流泪的沙粒‘’原来是入骨的朱砂‘’吻落在街角 檐下大衣放进飘雪的故事等等 都觉得非常新鲜
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-10 03:20:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

时间。真的是一个无法控制的控制项?我在脑海里翻搅历史,编织各种不同的故事。
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可情可理,去捧就真
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呆哥的女人
童生


Joined: 02 Mar 2008
Posts: 20

呆哥的女人Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-12 16:28:37    Post subject: 邯郸学步凑一下;还是倒叙比较有感染力,平铺直述地少了很多韵味. Reply with quote

真想,这个故事里的
风花雪月
缓缓地平铺开来。。。

那么一滴泪
就可以诗意地侵蚀
拾阶而上的绿苔

听冬林一夜落雪的倾诉
点燃结着冰的温暖
催放盈盈如梦的梅开

借秋夜墨汁里辗转的明月
挂在心中那片天空
纷飞的流云里徘徊

把夏日池塘喧繁的迹象
采进袖里,莲叶阗阗
花挽着花,明眸善睐

是春岚的温柔
和篱上的第一层清芽
注定这个故事最后的精彩

一个丰富的故事
在前行的时光中
走成四季生动的未来
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人称呆嫂
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-12 17:12:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

不仅是呆了~~

这两天忙,一来看到这个好东东~~动态的诗意

那么一滴泪
就可以诗意地侵蚀
拾阶而上的绿苔

一夜落雪的倾诉
点燃结着冰的温暖
盈盈如梦的梅开


算了,我看我还是搬吧~~
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梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。
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点点儿
秀才


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 413
Location: 眇小的地球
点点儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-14 03:53:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

走进你诗话般的美
才发现
我从你这里得到
如此多的~安慰

倾心相拥每一位,问好大家~ Smile
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---其实你永远不懂我的心---
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-14 06:25:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

抱袖子, 抱点点和呆嫂~~
顶袖姐姐如清风的纯情, 顶呆嫂妩媚的柔情
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红袖添乱
秀才


Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-01 20:07:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

爱爱 wrote:
抱袖子, 抱点点和呆嫂~~
顶袖姐姐如清风的纯情, 顶呆嫂妩媚的柔情


嗯~~我也觉得呆嫂特妩媚~~怎么办哪~~

我看看我也能不能妩媚起来~~
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梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。
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始君
童生


Joined: 23 Feb 2008
Posts: 30

始君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-02 18:08:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

红袖添乱 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
抱袖子, 抱点点和呆嫂~~
顶袖姐姐如清风的纯情, 顶呆嫂妩媚的柔情


嗯~~我也觉得呆嫂特妩媚~~怎么办哪~~
...

妩媚
是顾盼之间不经意流露
是内心柔情的外在表现
无法刻意,也无法隐藏
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