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雨中花慢·心随圣火飞
胡恢宗
秀才


Joined: 15 Mar 2008
Posts: 564

胡恢宗Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-10 05:42:33    Post subject: 雨中花慢·心随圣火飞 Reply with quote

祭司云集,枝摇橄榄,神坛古韵新陈。喜银盆生焰,腾聚祥云。友谊灵犀一炬,盛传情意千钧。亚非与欧美,五环共映,圣火同亲。 流亡政客,夕阳西下,昧心肆意污尘。派几只灯蛾扑火,遗恨无垠。宝炬珠峰高擎,九州无不欢欣。福娃拥簇,黄花时节,辉耀京门。




原作为“擎”,错打为“攀”,谢谢指正!!
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水曲云烟绕 林深鸟竞飞
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黄洋界
探花


Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-10 06:12:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

激情洋溢词,心随圣火飞.
欢迎新朋友!
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喜金石书画,友竹菊梅兰
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松云老人
秀才


Joined: 11 Apr 2008
Posts: 376
Location: 中国
松云老人Collection
PostPosted: 2008-05-10 06:40:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

好一首赞奥运词!凛然正气,炽热情怀!文笔流畅,一气呵成!赞!
唯“宝炬珠峰高攀”句中“攀”字为平声,不知先生依何版本词谱填写?是否应用仄声字?若当用平声则罢,若当用仄声也很好调,问题不大。
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