雨木
童生
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 30
雨木Collection |
 Posted: 2008-01-30 15:13:38 Post subject: 心中雪 |
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洁白的雪花
卷不去背负的铺盖卷
依然在我的心中盘旋
盘旋着血与汗的打工
北国的寒风
卷起胡须年的祈盼
却拉不直弯弯村路
熬急了那双红眼睛
南来的讯息
冻得双耳跳着发抖
视频忙碌的电波里
击响中南海的铃声
孔雀再南飞
捎回带体温的帐号
端起热乎乎地烩菜
模糊高楼脚手架踪影
雪花慢些走
等太阳公公刮刮累脸
为月亮婆婆梳洗打扮
还你朗朗晴空
2008年1月30日于北京 |
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赵福治
探花
Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-30 18:40:09 Post subject: |
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南来的讯息
冻得双耳跳着发抖
视频忙碌的电波里
击响中南海的铃声....................形象 . |
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金金
进士出身
Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
金金Collection |
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雨木
童生
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 30
雨木Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-02 08:33:19 Post subject: |
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谢谢提读和鼓励。祝新春愉快！ |
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雨木
童生
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 30
雨木Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-02 08:34:44 Post subject: |
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谢谢提读和鼓励。祝新春愉快! |
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陈若祥
秀才
Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-10 05:13:38 Post subject: |
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画面感很强,有立体感.
关注民生,关注现实生活.
_________________
¤当树的叶子再次泛绿，繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe |
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雨木
童生
Joined: 22 Mar 2007
Posts: 30
雨木Collection |
| Posted: 2008-05-04 08:44:46 Post subject: |
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| 谢谢若祥提读，望多多指正，问好！ |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2008-05-04 19:03:44 Post subject: |
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| 关注现实,诗意不错~ |
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是有缘
秀才
Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741
是有缘Collection |
| Posted: 2008-05-04 19:56:29 Post subject: |
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诗意语言都好，当是该题材的佳作。
_________________
蜻蜓点水非无意 愁云化雨是有情 |
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