Maple Review :: View topic - 我指导的学生-----王巨龙<展翅飞翔—

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

我指导的学生-----王巨龙<展翅飞翔——献给高三的朋友>

陈若祥
秀才

Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection

Posted: 2008-04-14 23:11:13 Post subject: 我指导的学生-----王巨龙<展翅飞翔——献给高三的朋友>

展翅飞翔 ——献给高三的朋友 ◆ 高三(班王巨龙假如我在大漠里失去了方向风沙，匆匆吹过我的发梢，吹过我孤弱的身影吹过我疲惫的灵魂恰如一个无助孩子，挣扎在那死亡的苦海之中饥渴之外，相信前方有一汪碧水越过生命的热度选择一个动作，奔着走着或爬着从此，我站立在浩荡的宇宙不再跌到，相信大漠会赐予我一片蓝天，一个展翅的动作冲向心中的太阳，展翅飞翔

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-04-15 12:58:24 Post subject:

不错。可以写得更具体一些。来点实的。 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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