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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

不动产（二首）

郭全华
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Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection

Posted: 2008-04-07 04:30:24 Post subject: 不动产（二首）

【漫步村头】漫步村头除了村民，都是绿色水安静之极，鸭子踩着河石我也顺流而下。浣洗的村姑流淌在古典里。脚下的路被水泥抹平。这个早晨我空空如也的身体看上去很干净却与村子格格不入【不动产】父亲70岁了，依旧自产自销因此得意，指责我像指责同村的无赖我是他的不动产尽管他身体已弯曲，沟壑已纵横从没打算支取每次还乡，他都叫我把头低下来院子的老树下，他洪亮的嗓门令人心悸 _________________ 借助诗歌，努力把自己活成一棵树，白天向上，夜里向下．

雪硯
童生

Joined: 30 Apr 2007
Posts: 80
Location: 台灣‧苗栗
雪硯Collection

Posted: 2008-04-07 11:07:29 Post subject:

敏感、焦灼的声音，令人感同身受；传统与现代的对比，「不动产」，喻示着一种不可替代的精神价值。拜读。问好雪砚 _________________ 大寂蜉蝣 http://blog.sina.com.tw/guogin100/

木易沉香
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Joined: 17 Jun 2007
Posts: 122
Location: 中国河南
木易沉香Collection

Posted: 2008-04-07 23:54:17 Post subject:

不错的两个问好~

郭全华
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Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection

Posted: 2008-04-08 04:56:54 Post subject:

雪硯 wrote:

敏感、焦灼的声音，令人感同身受；
...

这么认真的分析让我感动。握手
_________________
借助诗歌，努力把自己活成一棵树，白天向上，夜里向下．

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 01:28:55 Post subject:

觉得标题所注的二首去掉更好.这两个作一组更能突现时代变迁的矛盾。问好！

溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 02:30:21 Post subject:

浣洗的村姑流淌在古典里。脚下的路被水泥抹平。 _________________ 溪语的博客:家住鄂西

莞君
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Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国陕西
莞君Collection

Posted: 2008-04-09 03:47:16 Post subject:

三个语言把握都不错问好 _________________ 莞君

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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