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夜题悠子街灯夜照
灯台小老鼠
童生


Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 82
Location: 中国广东广州
灯台小老鼠Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-28 10:10:55    Post subject: 夜题悠子街灯夜照 Reply with quote

我是街边的一盏灯,
谁将我点亮?
谁需要我?
夜半三更,
我没有投给任何人一丝影子。

枯树,白天已无生机,
夜里的冷对,
更增添这漫漫的静寂;
矮墙,蒙上风尘始终无言无语,
对我的光线
可会回应一点声息?

同伴,
望得见那淡淡的身影,
够不着这不长的距离......
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-28 11:11:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

这街灯也叫悠子呀?
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-28 11:13:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

望得见那淡淡的身影, 够不着这不长的距离 -- 别致
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-28 20:12:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

概念清晰,印象很深刻。街灯为影子而存在,没有特定的人或物,就没有影子。

文字处理还可以严谨些。
_________________
可情可理,去捧就真
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-30 09:45:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

不是有街灯自己的影子么?
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-30 12:57:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

夜‘伴’三更

Very Happy
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(在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美)
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灯台小老鼠
童生


Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Posts: 82
Location: 中国广东广州
灯台小老鼠Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-05 14:01:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

凌晨重返,谢谢诸位评点。
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