灯台小老鼠 童生
Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 82 Location: 中国广东广州 灯台小老鼠Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 10:10:55 Post subject: 夜题悠子街灯夜照 |
|
|
我是街边的一盏灯,
谁将我点亮?
谁需要我?
夜半三更,
我没有投给任何人一丝影子。
枯树,白天已无生机,
夜里的冷对,
更增添这漫漫的静寂;
矮墙,蒙上风尘始终无言无语,
对我的光线
可会回应一点声息?
同伴,
望得见那淡淡的身影,
够不着这不长的距离...... |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
悠子 举人
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 1383 Location: US 悠子Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 11:11:55 Post subject: |
|
|
这街灯也叫悠子呀? |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
悠子 举人
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 1383 Location: US 悠子Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 11:13:40 Post subject: |
|
|
望得见那淡淡的身影, 够不着这不长的距离 -- 别致 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
詩盜喜裸評 进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007 Posts: 2984 Location: 台湾,台北 詩盜喜裸評Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-28 20:12:15 Post subject: |
|
|
概念清晰,印象很深刻。街灯为影子而存在,没有特定的人或物,就没有影子。
文字处理还可以严谨些。 _________________ 可情可理,去捧就真 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
悠子 举人
Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Posts: 1383 Location: US 悠子Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-30 09:45:06 Post subject: |
|
|
不是有街灯自己的影子么? |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
博弈 榜眼
Joined: 21 Dec 2006 Posts: 4381 Location: SFO 博弈Collection |
Posted: 2008-03-30 12:57:53 Post subject: |
|
|
夜‘伴’三更
 _________________ (在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美) |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
灯台小老鼠 童生
Joined: 19 Feb 2008 Posts: 82 Location: 中国广东广州 灯台小老鼠Collection |
Posted: 2008-04-05 14:01:32 Post subject: |
|
|
凌晨重返,谢谢诸位评点。 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
 |
 |
|