Maple Review :: View topic - 溯(请老师评点下新改的这首)

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

溯(请老师评点下新改的这首)

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2006-10-26 04:28:54 Post subject: 溯(请老师评点下新改的这首)

溯很想撑一柄明黄的伞行在戴望舒笔下的雨巷像一朵飘于沉昏水色上的黄玫瑰流过郁黯的古巷点燃一盏盏风灯我有着玫瑰一样的热情玫瑰一样的坚贞玫瑰一样的希望这时候尽管雨也潇潇但如歌这时候你遇见的不是结着愁怨的丁香一样的姑娘圈明媚的涟漪一串串这如火如阳如风的黄玫瑰啊你如果遇到还能吟一首太息般的诗行? 2006-10-25

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2006-10-26 10:46:36 Post subject:

雨巷已经被戴望舒写绝了一定要有全新的角度，　才能真正超越 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2006-10-26 20:41:29 Post subject: 谢老师提点~

是不好超越,问好~

鹤雨
秀才

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 113
Location: 上海
鹤雨Collection

Posted: 2006-11-03 03:30:32 Post subject: 改的反到不如第一次的好了！

枉评问好！ _________________ 愿意和大家共同进步!

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
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