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两个新的,问好大家!
陶杰
童生


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

陶杰Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-09 17:32:51    Post subject: 两个新的,问好大家! Reply with quote

已婚男人

儿子小感冒,妻子依旧在抱怨
“是不是你的儿子,你说
谁不想一个人逍遥!”
在雨中,他把脸转向早已挂断的电话
寻找她的脸……她年轻时的样子
你们没见过……现在称为
相濡以沫!他睁大眼睛
睁大眼睛,在雨水模糊的屏幕上
辨认他们……医生
你怎么理解,亲人
怎么理解,要用力才记得住亲人的人
我没瞎扯,请告诉我
妻子是什么意思?儿子是什么意思?
“我”又……到了,这是我的单身宿舍
楼道都一样,真不好找
需要一颗红痣……不,不是你的白大褂
我以前长过一粒,在下巴上
他们叫我“红痣猴王”
真酷……我没吹,绝对过目难忘
我相片搁哪儿啦?请稍等
我打个电话

2008年3月6日


聆听


一场50年未遇的雪凝之灾
降临在你的祖国,你的家乡
每夜你躺在床上
聆听远远近近的断裂之声
聆听更多沉默的隐忍
第二天你到树林里去
在看不见鸟儿的树林里,模仿鸟儿飞翔
你把冰溜子放在嘴里咂,就像咂一枚乳头
天黑以前你唱着歌
回到漏风的小屋去
“我查遍了所有的伤口
目力所及,没有一个是致命的”
你把耳朵伸得更远
听觉有多辽阔,寒冷就有多辽阔
最后你越过冰消雪融的春天
继续聆听一团漆黑的空茫
“我的痼疾在耳朵,医生
请为我治疗近视!”

2008年3月7日
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-09 18:43:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

《聆听》

不太好

我想

“温暖”应该是“宗旨”

已经发生的“事实”,说明了一切

转换角度,会好一点。
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陶杰
童生


Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Posts: 96

陶杰Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-10 01:20:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢迪拜,谢谢你的又一次关注!
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