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【哭泣的圣火,熊熊燃烧】
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-20 02:57:11    Post subject: 【哭泣的圣火,熊熊燃烧】 Reply with quote

【哭泣的圣火,熊熊燃烧】

圣火被点燃了
这是希望之火
神圣的奥林匹亚之火
从被点燃起
就受了神的护佑
热爱和平的人
都是神的儿女

谁的黑手,想玷污火炬
谁的脏手,伸向圣洁的轮椅
崇尚自由和平的国度
谁举着厚颜无耻的话筒
妄想吹熄雅典娜的圣火
一个政府用愚蠢的鞭子
狠狠抽响他自己耳光

双手合十的人,僧衣里藏着石头
棍棒和大刀...神的子民在流血
浓烟滚滚,点燃怒火
十三亿华夏儿女的怒火
与圣火一起熊熊燃烧
圣火会流泪,但绝不会熄灭

看,我们的热血已点亮
红心磨成闪光的盾牌
以宙斯的名义
以自由和平的名义
护佑北京,2008圣火

2008-4-20
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-20 04:07:14    Post subject: 朋友给做的图片 Reply with quote

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山城子
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Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-21 22:39:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个技术好呀!
我还不会制作!
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诗是人生的雅伴儿。
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山城子
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Joined: 23 May 2007
Posts: 4771
Location: 中国贵州
山城子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-21 22:46:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

举着厚颜无耻的话筒

——这句首宜加个“谁”。
——不可隔行承前省略主语,可能造成歧义。

一个政府用虚假的鞭子

——是无知,是愚蠢——可能更准确。
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曲元奇
秀才


Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
曲元奇Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-21 23:01:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

红心磨成闪光的盾牌 奥运圣火是人类共同的旗帜 写出我们的心声
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-22 01:13:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

山城子 wrote:
这个技术好呀!
我还不会制作!


恩,这是朋友帮忙做的~ Smile
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-22 01:14:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

山城子 wrote:
举着厚颜无耻的话筒
...


谢老师指正~这就改过,图片只有等朋友修改了!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-22 01:18:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

举着厚颜无耻的话筒

——这句首宜加个“谁”。
——不可隔行承前省略主语,可能造成歧义
不过,这个前一句已经暗指了那个"崇尚自由和平的国度",估计还是不太清楚,我再考虑下~谢老师真诚的意见~
虚假的鞭子是有问题,老师的词更准确~
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-22 01:22:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

再考虑下,老师说的没错,根据你的意见,修改过来了~ Very Happy
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溪语
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Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-22 03:10:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

双手合十的人,僧衣里藏着石头
棍棒和大刀...
-----这种语言好呢!
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溪语的博客:家住鄂西
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