暗香如沁
秀才
Joined: 14 Jan 2007
Posts: 885
Location: 北京
暗香如沁Collection |
 Posted: 2008-02-21 08:30:24 Post subject: 鹧鸪天．兰亭小篆寄诗香（旧作） |
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花事纷飞雁几行，兰亭小篆寄诗香。幽幽心绪追新梦，漠漠西风扰夕阳。 眉若黛，暗思量，此生无意写轻狂。一声叹息残红处，犹恨前生惹韵长。
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/axrq用寂寞谱写最美的舞曲~ |
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黄洋界
探花
Joined: 23 Mar 2007
Posts: 3301
Location: 多伦多,加拿大
黄洋界Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-21 14:55:10 Post subject: |
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词句非常流畅,琅琅上口.
起句点时间,又点题,好.
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喜金石书画，友竹菊梅兰 |
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是有缘
秀才
Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741
是有缘Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-21 15:53:40 Post subject: |
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暗香好词，情感缠绵。
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蜻蜓点水非无意 愁云化雨是有情 |
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莹雪
进士出身
Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国－辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-21 18:21:23 Post subject: |
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| 婉转韵幽。 |
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冰清
同进士出身
Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921
冰清Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-23 21:34:33 Post subject: |
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"眉若黛，暗思量，此生无意写轻狂" 人格突兀，妙句！
“无意"一词很不错,把心灵写活了. |
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是有缘
秀才
Joined: 08 Feb 2008
Posts: 741
是有缘Collection |
| Posted: 2008-02-24 19:23:28 Post subject: |
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顺口，似一气呵成，好词。只“眉若黛，暗思量”与前后有一点脱节之感。
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蜻蜓点水非无意 愁云化雨是有情 |
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