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四季为你 之 春
爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-04 13:09:14    Post subject: 四季为你 之 春 Reply with quote


春天




我愿意


为你


梳起乖巧的小辫


婷婷成春天的


一朵茉莉


洁白的花瓣


淡淡的香气


还有你爱看的


天真的眼睛
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-04 13:11:15    Post subject: Reply with quote
嗯，，，我就知道，你最爱我。哈哈，，，自作多情一回。
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默默无言处，盈盈一笑间。
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-04 13:20:39    Post subject: Reply with quote
苏茉儿 wrote:
嗯，，，我就知道，你最爱我。哈哈，，，自作多情一回。


没关系, 尽管多来几回~~~
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-04 15:17:06    Post subject: Reply with quote
纯洁可爱，写给茉儿很合适。
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-04 20:44:00    Post subject: Reply with quote
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。
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可情可理，去捧就真
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-05 00:29:35    Post subject: Reply with quote
詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。


先谢谢, 再递上板斧请班长帮忙缩水~~~夏秋冬随后就到.
希望诗盗老师不吝赐教~~
Smile
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-05 05:13:13    Post subject: Reply with quote
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。


先谢谢, 再递上板斧请班长帮忙缩水~~~夏秋冬随后就到.
...


来落尘的每位朋友都是我学习的对象与教材，我自私极了、私心重的！
你要真是我的学生怎舍得批驳！
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可情可理，去捧就真
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-05 13:27:45    Post subject: Reply with quote
詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。


先谢谢, 再递上板斧请班长帮忙缩水~~~夏秋冬随后就到.
...


来落尘的每位朋友都是我学习的对象与教材，我自私极了、私心重的！
...


那我到底是与不是嘛, Confused 又不讲清楚~~

或者老师直接砍一通好了, 骂我笨这个程序就省下好了~
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-05 13:39:46    Post subject: Reply with quote
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。


先谢谢, 再递上板斧请班长帮忙缩水~~~夏秋冬随后就到.
...


来落尘的每位朋友都是我学习的对象与教材，我自私极了、私心重的！
...


那我到底是与不是嘛, Confused 又不讲清楚~~
...


你先想想我在夏天时对你说的话有没有道理，我们再回到春天来说说这四季如何再继续。
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真
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爱爱
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Joined: 03 Feb 2008
Posts: 167

爱爱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-05 13:45:04    Post subject: Reply with quote
詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。


先谢谢, 再递上板斧请班长帮忙缩水~~~夏秋冬随后就到.
...


来落尘的每位朋友都是我学习的对象与教材，我自私极了、私心重的！
...


那我到底是与不是嘛, Confused 又不讲清楚~~
...


你先想想我在夏天时对你说的话有没有道理，我们再回到春天来说说这四季如何再继续。


当然有道理, 问题是哪一种体更好表现? 或者, 这春夏到底写得有没有意义?
需不需要全部从新来过?
我在把秋和冬发上来, 你帮我斟酌一下好么?
谢谢!!!
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-05 14:02:49    Post subject: Reply with quote
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
爱爱 wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
如果准备完成四季，这些语句要凝缩一下才不会觉得断的太过。


先谢谢, 再递上板斧请班长帮忙缩水~~~夏秋冬随后就到.
...


来落尘的每位朋友都是我学习的对象与教材，我自私极了、私心重的！
...


那我到底是与不是嘛, Confused 又不讲清楚~~
...


你先想想我在夏天时对你说的话有没有道理，我们再回到春天来说说这四季如何再继续。


当然有道理, 问题是哪一种体更好表现? 或者, 这春夏到底写得有没有意义?
...


当然不好！你只能把我当读者，所说的话仅供参考。这么说吧：你的作品，没有任何人可以写的比你自己更好！
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