Maple Review :: View topic - 《炸弹》（外一首）

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

《炸弹》（外一首）

xctianbin
秀才

Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 105

xctianbinCollection

Posted: 2006-10-30 15:59:34 Post subject: 《炸弹》（外一首）

《炸弹》（外一首）田斌一些往事像战争年代遗弃的炸弹深埋在体内心里不小心触碰不仅伤人还能要命《一只飞来飞去的蝴蝶》一只蝴蝶在春天的旷野上飞来飞去它轻轻地扇动着翅膀像悄悄流逝的春光开一朵花是为结一枚果吐一份情是为获一生爱不管蝴蝶怎样飞来飞去春天总磁铁一样吸引我的目光颤动我的心扉而此刻我多想逮住那只蝴蝶小心地放在掌心让它绽放爱的美丽邮编：242000 通联：皖宣城市宣州区文化馆电话：（0563）2025012 E-mail: xctianbin@163.com

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2006-10-31 08:17:28 Post subject:

情景都很美但略为有些表面化了 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

杯中冲浪
进士出身

Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection

Posted: 2006-11-01 03:03:17 Post subject:

我感觉不错。当然，还可以写得更好。 _________________ 杯中冲浪.披履而行 http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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