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苏茉儿
秀才


Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 19:56:43    Post subject: 梦 Reply with quote

我要选一个
天朗气清的日子
枕着草香,仰望蓝天
做一个
关于你的梦

微风
佛过小草的脸庞
它嗝嗝的笑声,抚摸着
我的梦
如春天般烂漫
如夕阳般恬美

夜,深去
梦,醒来
我愿轻挽它的手
踏草儿的清香
去流浪

每天,每天
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 20:17:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

挺轻灵的
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 17:22:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

很幸福的畅想。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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苏茉儿
秀才


Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 18:02:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

我要选一个
天朗气清的午后
枕着草香,仰望蓝天
做一个
关于你的梦

微风
佛过小草的脸庞
它嗝嗝的笑声,抚摸着
我的梦
如春天般烂漫
如夕阳般恬美

夜,睡去
梦,醒来
我愿轻挽它的手
踏草儿的清香
去流浪

每天,每天


改几个字,感觉这样更完整些。。。。。
谢谢两位朋友留言。。。这里得人都不认识,有机会切磋,希望各位多多执教。茉
儿谢过!
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默默无言处,盈盈一笑间。
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 18:33:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

欢迎苏茉儿,多来交流~
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 07:59:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

哈!改几个字?一个!
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可情可理,去捧就真
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刘雨萍
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 08:39:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

爱做梦的茉儿。并且是个白日梦。 Smile
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隔海抒情
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嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-29 17:17:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

好在' 选' 字.

读在意境.等待你的梦想如期来临.
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我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加
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佳忆
童生


Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-29 18:24:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

这个梦很美...

问好茉儿...美丽的字..
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我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了
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