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超级写实
点点儿
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Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 413
Location: 眇小的地球
点点儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-24 12:56:27    Post subject: 超级写实 Reply with quote

无题

人流在涌动
雁说,我是一只会游泳的鱼

眼睛紧跟著包裹向前移动
滑轮的响声匆匆

灯,圆睁著不倦的眼睛
走过一轮轮嘈杂
偶留一丝微笑

乌云的窗外,不知冷暖
今夜的归程,不知
迷失在何处的灯口



01/24/2008 涂鸡涂鸦


Very Happy
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苏茉儿
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Joined: 31 Dec 2007
Posts: 739

苏茉儿Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-24 14:07:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

自然高于一切,真情同塑你我Smile)
牛2Smile)
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默默无言处,盈盈一笑间。
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詩盜喜裸評
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Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
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PostPosted: 2008-01-24 17:29:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

自然不与人高,真情不需人塑。涂鸦涂鸦黑漆漆,方向就在灯火阑珊处。
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可情可理,去捧就真
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奥冬
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Joined: 09 Mar 2007
Posts: 239
Location: 河北邢台
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PostPosted: 2008-01-24 19:09:28    Post subject: Reply with quote

没了最后两句,全篇似乎就成不知所云了。所以这两句真是点睛之笔。不过“灯口”不大好理解。
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点点儿
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Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 413
Location: 眇小的地球
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PostPosted: 2008-01-25 11:13:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

奥冬 wrote:
没了最后两句,全篇似乎就成不知所云了。所以这两句真是点睛之笔。不过“灯口”不大好理解。



建议晚上开车迷迷路:)
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啥么
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Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 169

啥么Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-25 15:39:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

偶一次就没等出来,滑轮停了,偶恨不得自己把自己滑进去
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这有点麻烦
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