漂之雨
童生
Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 53
漂之雨Collection |
 Posted: 2008-01-21 05:41:03 Post subject: 雪，飘落在跳板上（2008苏州河系列之六） |
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雪，飘落在跳板上（2008苏州河系列之六）
文/漂之雨
烟囱对峙的河畔
北风吹
烟尘顺流而下
帆扛着风
风系浪
浪打跳板
一月的雪飘落水
雪的残赅
冰凌了跳板的岁月
霜花 雪花
在这动情的波涛中
我张大嘴
2008-1-21 |
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身
Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-21 08:04:41 Post subject: |
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结尾很有趣味性，也有戏剧效果。
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可情可理，去捧就真 |
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沙漠
秀才
Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-21 22:53:07 Post subject: |
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挺精致！
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180 |
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佳忆
童生
Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96
佳忆Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-21 23:28:00 Post subject: |
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提读...一语道出精彩..
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我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了 |
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单菲
童生
Joined: 06 Dec 2007
Posts: 17
单菲Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-22 06:42:40 Post subject: |
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帆扛着风
风系浪
浪打跳板
叙说有力度，握手！ |
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半溪明月
榜眼
Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760
半溪明月Collection |
| Posted: 2008-01-22 06:59:42 Post subject: |
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| 有点虚了～ |
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