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树,没挪动半步
徐敏
童生


Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 29

徐敏Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-09 22:41:15    Post subject: 树,没挪动半步 Reply with quote

树,没挪动半步

1
树,单肢着地。
是一挺耸立的骨头。
在十面埋伏下,没挪动半步。

2
秋来了,攥着一把大剪刀来了。
远远的山冈上,盘着一撮秋风。
抽着烟的农舍上,盘着一撮秋风。
焉头呆脑的花朵上,盘着一撮秋风。
山村好象受到惊吓了,一声不吭。土地好象改朝换代了,面目全非。
天也道了许多遍
秋萧瑟。

3
河岸堤上。十里渡口。
木筏远去了,像渔夫的叹息远去了,像渔夫的身影远去了。
只有树一动不动,依旧舒展筋肉。
抓、抓、抓住——
几许秋色,给这个季节添进几许悲壮。

2006-10-10 14:00
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-10 19:24:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

有散文的美。
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-11 20:02:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢前2节,诗中揉进了童话的成分。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-10-13 15:19:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

散文化入诗,使读者视野平顺辽远的多,是一个不错的尝试,寓意是诗的重要一环,你做到了,问好徐敏。
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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