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如果这还算一首诗歌,一定是仅仅为你而作1[2]  Next
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-18 20:38:23    Post subject: 如果这还算一首诗歌,一定是仅仅为你而作 Reply with quote

如果这还算一首诗歌,一定是仅仅为你而作

在路上,我无暇
闲暇后却无心写一封早就应该
写给你的信
的确,我不知道怎样使用刻板的方块文字
去丈量那些长长的脚印
一阕阕滑过迷走神经
进退之间
踩响的平平仄仄

告别,已有好多日子
些许由里及表的感触,顺着压抑的脉动
从心灵深处流往指尖
轻轻一点的 痛
在距离键盘毫厘之处戛然而止

推窗, 牵来一弯 弦月
弯弯如唇
如莫愁湖畔载歌的渔舟
弦乐声声
谁人晓得唱和?
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hepingdao
Site Admin


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

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PostPosted: 2010-11-18 22:25:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

弦乐声声
谁人晓得唱和?

激荡之间的文字,欲言又止的心情
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东方朔南
秀才


Joined: 19 Oct 2010
Posts: 263
Location: 中国.沈阳
东方朔南Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-18 23:40:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水诗作,不敢妄言...

说说感觉无碍——

的确,我不知道怎样使用刻板的方块文字
去丈量那些长长的脚印
一阕阕滑过迷走神经
进退之间
踩响的平平仄仄

这几句倒是非白水而不能,或少能,或能及。


拜读!
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金金
进士出身


Joined: 08 Feb 2007
Posts: 2035
Location: 山东济宁
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PostPosted: 2010-11-19 01:20:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

认真
好深情,看一遍内容再看一遍题目,我心醉了,也碎了/
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 13:32:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
弦乐声声
谁人晓得唱和?

激荡之间的文字,欲言又止的心情


没有呵,其实我都说完了 Very Happy
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 13:40:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

东方朔南 wrote:
白水诗作,不敢妄言...说说感觉无碍——

的确,我不知道怎样使用刻板的方块文字
去丈量那些长长的脚印
一阕阕滑过迷走神经
进退之间
踩响的平平仄仄

这几句倒是非白水而不能,或少能,或能及。


拜读!
...


周末愉快 Very Happy
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 13:42:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

金金 wrote:
认真
好深情,看一遍内容再看一遍题目,我心醉了,也碎了/


金金好,看看弯弯的月亮你就会笑了 Very Happy
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 17:38:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

好,即兴和一个,转借你的心情,莫怪。

如果这是为我款款而作, 我一定为日子而歌

在路上,我擔心
放心后却无暇写一封早就应该
写给你的信
或許,我不知道怎样使用狡猾的圓筆曲弧
去翻譯那些經過的旅途
一段段踽踽躑躅
高低之間
是谁唏噓輕重短長

此去,已有好些日子
些许由外及里的秋风,顺着窗景的枯黄
从脸往身深处催征
重重层层的字键
我却收割不了,上缴不了一帖静夜思

出门, 打破一轮明月
水波兴又止
似醉月湖畔跳舞的学蛙
我有星光投石
我为你缓缓歌





醉月湖是台湾大学著名的湖,一景
另一著名的校内角落是傅园,纪念校長傅斯年的。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 20:13:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢博士和诗, 虽然这首诗歌还真不是为你而作。而且我已把链接给了我的朋友,那么就连你的诗歌一同送了 Razz
最近回了趟国,见到一些大学和中学的同学,朋友相聚,无拘无束,口无遮拦,,,,,,特别是有一次和一位中学同学告别,天下着雨,她流着泪,,,,,,这种单纯,真挚的友情不能不让人珍惜
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北夫
童生


Joined: 24 Sep 2010
Posts: 54
Location: 中国武汉
北夫Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-19 20:17:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

拜读。学习。
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
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PostPosted: 2010-11-19 20:47:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈的和诗也很好看
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2010-11-19 22:28:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
谢谢博士和诗, 虽然这首诗歌还真不是为你而作。而且我已把链接给了我的朋友,那么就连你的诗歌一同送了 Razz
...



我自然知道不是, 喜这诗的感觉, 所以特声明"转借".

六书造字有"转注"一方, 形转,义转,音转.
《说文》叙:“转注者,建类一首,同意相受,考老是也。”

你写考,我写老, 喜这诗的感觉, 故作了"诗转", 见谅.
(要是你里头的是莫名湖, 这文字对也不错. 去过莫名湖,
还没到过莫愁湖.)

问好!
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2010-11-19 22:37:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

hepingdao wrote:
博弈的和诗也很好看


谢谢. 这一段对仗也是借了英文字型
与英文诗的音律形容来做隐喻.

或許,我不知道怎样使用狡猾的圓筆曲弧
去翻譯那些經過的旅途
一段段踽踽躑躅
高低之間
是谁唏噓輕重短長

问好.
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qinghongh
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Joined: 14 Oct 2007
Posts: 4110

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PostPosted: 2010-11-21 07:28:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

推窗, 牵来一弯 弦月
弯弯如唇
如莫愁湖畔载歌的渔舟
弦乐声声
谁人晓得唱和?

最喜欢这一段。

莫愁湖畔,渔舟唱晚。
弦月如唇,似喜似怨?
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晴宝儿
秀才


Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-21 20:05:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy 欣赏唱和,文字有让人说什么的欲望,文字也高兴。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-25 16:11:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

北夫 wrote:
拜读。学习。

问好北夫, 欣赏你的诗歌。
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-25 16:12:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
谢谢博士和诗, 虽然这首诗歌还真不是为你而作。而且我已把链接给了我的朋友,那么就连你的诗歌一同送了 Razz
...



我自然知道不是, 喜这诗的感觉, 所以特声明"转借".
...


谢谢喜欢 Smile
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-25 16:23:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

qinghongh wrote:
推窗, 牵来一弯 弦月
弯弯如唇
如莫愁湖畔载歌的渔舟
弦乐声声
谁人晓得唱和?

最喜欢这一段。

莫愁湖畔,渔舟唱晚。
弦月如唇,似喜似怨?...


问好qinghongh, 终于忙完了, 我又可以休息两天了。Very Happy
谢谢你的理解与和诗。借你和博弈的字和意,搞笑一个:
晚唱渔舟,莫愁莫名南辕北辙
游离弦月,弯上弯下任尔哀乐 Wink
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
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PostPosted: 2010-11-25 16:28:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

晴宝儿 wrote:
Very Happy 欣赏唱和,文字有让人说什么的欲望,文字也高兴。


宝儿,读朋友的和诗,我也高兴(想变蚊子了) Razz
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晴宝儿
秀才


Joined: 03 Jun 2008
Posts: 666

晴宝儿Collection
PostPosted: 2010-11-27 08:57:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
晴宝儿 wrote:
Very Happy 欣赏唱和,文字有让人说什么的欲望,文字也高兴。


宝儿,读朋友的和诗,我也高兴(想变蚊子了) Razz


一看这里高兴我更睡不着了
白水就是一个绝妙的wen zi,今年我回来写诗还是从白水亲的苹果开始,感谢亲。
北美枫是今年我上的第一个网站,94郁闷还没收到刊呢55
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