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题憋屈斋
刘浪
秀才


Joined: 04 Dec 2008
Posts: 227

刘浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-14 01:27:42    Post subject: 题憋屈斋 Reply with quote

借住舞厅旁,天天遇野狼。

小歌白送后,夜夜数绵羊。

注:憋屈斋----我租借的栖身地,与歌舞厅隔道相望,原名断句坊现叫憋屈斋。另转句出律,改了几次不合胃口,索性没改,搬来凑个热闹,过往老师请改无妨。
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-14 16:23:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

夜夜数绵羊。挺好玩的. Very Happy

这个网站有格律, 词牌的检查功能, 对象我这样懒背平仄的人挺有帮助, 不防试试. 问好
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刘浪
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Joined: 04 Dec 2008
Posts: 227

刘浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-15 16:52:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

嗯,谢谢白水!问候您!
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征尘载袖
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Joined: 18 Aug 2007
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Location: 臭豆腐作坊
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PostPosted: 2008-12-15 17:06:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
夜夜数绵羊。挺好玩的. Very Happy
...



这叫数数入眠法,连这个都不懂,哼
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刘浪
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Joined: 04 Dec 2008
Posts: 227

刘浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-12-16 20:04:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

征尘载袖 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
夜夜数绵羊。挺好玩的. Very Happy
...



这叫数数入眠法,连这个都不懂,哼

呵呵.......

我荒芜的沙漠
更有罪
不知要浪费你
多少清甜的水

问好征尘!谢谢灌水!
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