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Cowards and Ravens
Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-09-03 08:21:00    Post subject: Cowards and Ravens Reply with quote

Raking
in the bleak of the backyard,
I see
a raven
standing still on a tilted bench.

I toss a rock
to make sure it’s alive,
the bird shoots dagger eyes
and watches
a coward tiptoe away.
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the trouble with poetry is that it encourages the writing of more poetry -- Billy Collins
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-09-21 05:21:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

stone is better than rock?

"I" tiptoe away? "I" am the coward?
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-09-21 13:36:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there!

1, 'rock' means the same as 'stone' here. I used 'rock' for its sound that rhymes with 'toss'.

I toss a rock

2, Yes, 'I', the coward, tiptoe away.

Thanks for the read and questions.
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kino
秀才


Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-10-18 01:26:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

(喜欢这首,乱翻一下Very Happy


Raking
in the bleak of the backyard,
I see
a raven
standing still on a tilted bench.

I toss a rock
to make sure it’s alive,
the bird shoots dagger eyes
and watches
a coward tiptoe away.
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闲荡
在寒凄的后院
我看见
一只乌鸦
静立于歪斜的长椅

丢一个石子
确认它是不是活着
那鸟儿竟回眸
锐利地盯着
一个懦夫踮脚逃走
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-10-18 18:02:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢谢 Kino 的喜欢,译文收下了。

不过,不要“乱翻”, 这一乱,就把 raking 译成 “闲荡 ”了。 (有这个意思吗?我还不知道。)

Kino 一定不是干体力活的。 Very Happy

问好!
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kino
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Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection
PostPosted: 2008-10-18 20:21:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

哈哈,这是我无意中篡改的,没查字典,不好意思。不过觉得闲荡也好 Very Happy
我现在啥活也不干,不光是体力活~~
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Lake
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Joined: 09 Jan 2007
Posts: 1286

LakeCollection
PostPosted: 2008-10-19 10:13:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

kino wrote:
我现在啥活也不干,不光是体力活~~
...


那就闲荡吧。 多到这溜达溜达。 Laughing
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