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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

源

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-04 05:56:51 Post subject: 源

源遗忘是一条河的流绪入海，入天地深处的烟波遗忘是岸边经年失修的船坞，是你驻足而伫于水，即将远行的油轮是星光下婀娜的杨柳日夜牵挂的一叶扁舟你随风而去，那是灵魂之神往张开眉心的天目水的那边还是水，清粼粼的日月潭呵可是我们遗忘的眼睛？我知道真正的遗忘是山涧干涸的小溪是仲夏之夜月光淹没的沙石而黎明前的一场暴雨那场让人心痛的暴风雨呵淹没了一弯月亮

kino
秀才

Joined: 23 Dec 2006
Posts: 411
Location: beijing
kinoCollection

Posted: 2008-08-04 16:56:45 Post subject:

思念是遗忘的敌人。 ——“驻足而伫”驻足与伫同义，可以“伫望” 代之？悔相道之不察兮,延伫乎吾将反。——《楚辞·离骚》伫盘桓而且俟。——班固《幽通赋》玉阶空伫立,宿鸟归飞急。——唐·李白《菩萨蛮》伫——久立伫望——久立而远望

赵福治
探花

Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection

Posted: 2008-08-04 18:04:40 Post subject:

那场让人心痛的暴风雨呵淹没了一弯月亮 __体验而灵动的一首.

阿依琼裙
秀才

Joined: 09 Apr 2007
Posts: 920
Location: 废墟之上
阿依琼裙Collection

Posted: 2008-08-05 06:47:46 Post subject:

那场让人心痛的暴风雨呵淹没了一弯月亮 _________________ 踏过废墟,走来 http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/weiyurong

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2008-08-05 16:34:12 Post subject:

白水君是从台湾到加国的。通篇写“遗忘”，而标题又叫“源”，何故也？ _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

朱煜国
秀才

Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Posts: 121

朱煜国Collection

Posted: 2008-08-05 22:46:49 Post subject:

意境深远,意味深远。读来有一个源的轮廓了。

新华
秀才

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 225

新华Collection

Posted: 2008-08-05 23:28:52 Post subject:

小诗写得够悲伤。问好。

尹宏灯
童生

Joined: 05 Aug 2008
Posts: 19
Location: 东莞
尹宏灯Collection

Posted: 2008-08-06 23:25:09 Post subject:

遗忘是一条河的流绪入海，入天地深处的烟波遗忘是岸边经年失修的船坞，是你驻足而伫于水，即将远行的油轮是星光下婀娜的杨柳日夜牵挂的一叶扁舟 _________________ 宏灯诗观:用心爱人!用心写诗!诗歌追求精练、厚重和疼痛感。个人博客：http://y2008hd.blog.163.com/

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:26:50 Post subject:

kino wrote:

思念是遗忘的敌人。
——“驻足而伫”驻足与伫同义，可以“伫望” 代之？

悔相道之不察兮,延伫乎吾将反。——《楚辞·离骚》
伫盘桓而且俟。——班固《幽通赋》
玉阶空伫立,宿鸟归飞急。——唐·李白《菩萨蛮》

伫——久立
伫望——久立而远望
...

谢谢KINO 细读, 最近老师加码作业,好累. 未及回帖, 见谅.
我的原意是停步(驻足)而久立(伫)于水
你改的意思也挺好, 我再想想 Smile

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:27:33 Post subject:

赵福治 wrote:

那场让人心痛的暴风雨呵
淹没了一弯月亮
__体验而灵动的一首.

谢谢鼓励, 问好

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:28:21 Post subject:

阿依琼裙 wrote:

那场让人心痛的暴风雨呵
淹没了一弯月亮

久不见,问好阿依.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:31:52 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

白水君是从台湾到加国的。
通篇写“遗忘”，而标题又叫“源”，何故也？
_________________

...

问好道模,猜猜

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:32:47 Post subject:

朱煜国 wrote:

意境深远,意味深远。
读来有一个源的轮廓了。

谢谢理解

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:33:32 Post subject:

新华 wrote:

小诗写得够悲伤。问好。

问好新华

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 05:34:26 Post subject:

尹宏灯 wrote:

遗忘是一条河的流绪
...

问好尹宏灯

William Zhou周道模
探花

Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection

Posted: 2008-08-09 14:20:54 Post subject:

哦，“源”是日月潭，是故乡，是遗忘之川的源头！ _________________ 诗歌是灵魂的歌唱. 周道模

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-11 18:57:46 Post subject:

William Zhou周道模 wrote:

哦，“源”是日月潭，是故乡，是遗忘之川的源头！

谢谢, 问好道模

秀水
秀才

Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 221
Location: 山东聊城
秀水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-16 21:32:12 Post subject:

真正的遗忘是山涧干涸的小溪是仲夏之夜月光淹没的沙石而黎明前的一场暴雨那场让人心痛的暴风雨呵淹没了一弯月亮颀赏这个结尾。问好 _________________ 秀水：省青协会员.在《星星诗刊》《绿风》《诗选刊》《常青藤诗刊》等发表诗歌散文二百余篇。兼写童话。邮箱xshx100@163.com 秀水博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/feizoudeshui

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-08-18 16:34:34 Post subject:

问好秀水

新华
秀才

Joined: 29 Jul 2007
Posts: 225

新华Collection

Posted: 2008-08-18 22:52:09 Post subject:

学习，问好。

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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