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垂爱者戒
遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-11 00:37:26    Post subject: 垂爱者戒 Reply with quote






当天一亮, 周匝晨雾晞

秋光凌厉当头

噫,看过我的人

流露过怜惜和泛爱的人

要去旅行



每于仲夏之夜

我面戴浓妆

在夜未央,路未央

人惆怅之前,曲子悠闲无尽头

噫——,我所思焉

仿佛与之两清



仿佛平凡庸常一日

夕照中鹤带回胭脂印

红鱼掸净梳妆台

我这朵狠心的花

今天是牡丹,昨天还是葵属西菊



也是说开就开,说谢就谢

仿佛一名和衣而卧的风尘女子

笑她的情人弄别离

伤了他自己





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陈若祥
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Joined: 12 Feb 2007
Posts: 470
Location: 中国*安徽
陈若祥Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-11 03:57:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

取词艳丽,通过叙事抒发情感.
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¤当树的叶子再次泛绿,繁华
¤我们欣赏着一部与你我无关的电影
¤看着春天悄悄地走来
¤看着春天延伸在我们的脚下
◆安徽凤鸣诗社◆http://blog.sina.com.cn/fmshishe
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-07-11 18:53:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

仔细读了。
近日忙,来得少。这边没结束,那边已开始了。安。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-11 20:24:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

即和一个

苦等天黑,西霞五色
极光斧劈念头
啊,我看过的人
透明和灰暗的人
收起挂衣

是暑中的书
慵懒打扮
于昨页,于今页
流火一些,帐里春秋快婿
吁——,纸镇红叶
不止玉峦

不止山满文章
永昼里壁虎声如木鱼
墨砚如纸镜
诀别一挥脱毛断尾
昨日之日,今日圈点

不妨说来就来,说走就走
高枝上的蓝衫子远眺着白云
叹风再鼓足多情空气
也装不了自己

玩闹笔
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-11 21:49:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

感觉这里的“噫”字用上后有独特的效果。
问好七七!
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遛达的七七
秀才


Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-11 21:53:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢过陈若祥 :)

Nobody,我还以为你消失了呢,原来是忙。
忙好哇,多劳多得——那你要是两边都开弓,不会忙昏了吧!

博弈近来安好!多谢玩闹和了这个——开心死,因为哈,没我写得好!嘎嘎嘎嘎
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-12 04:38:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

凌厉当头晃秋光

西菊开罢牡丹香

风尘女子和衣卧

花开花谢笑情伤

临屏借字一游 Very Happy
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-12 06:52:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

七的诗很有风格,谐趣泼辣~问好了!
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遛达的七七
秀才


Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-12 17:47:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

荷梦、白水、明月,三位美女好!……那白水好快手,顿时就给“七言”了,嘿嘿
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司马策风
举人


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-12 18:35:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

潇洒,别致的文字.

七小姐到来,总是要捧捧场的.
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-07-12 19:57:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

77走动,风尘很大。
这么多人打油。跟打。油价止不住了现在。

没有人
哪来的情人
没有情人
哪来的相聚
没有相聚
哪来的别离
没有别离
哪来的弄别离
没弄别离
哪来的垂爱者戒
没有垂爱者戒
哪来的77
没有77
哪来的风尘
没有风尘
哪来的女子
没有女子
哪来的人
没有人
。。。
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遛达的七七
秀才


Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-12 20:36:35    Post subject: Reply with quote

……唉,其实……

其实七七只说了一件事:两清

反正吧,我更喜欢各位的油,珍贵的好油——比七的好玩儿很多,谢啦!
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-15 04:01:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

七小姐 wrote:
谢过陈若祥 :)
...
博弈近来安好!多谢玩闹和了这个——开心死,因为哈,没我写得好!嘎嘎嘎嘎


嘿嘿,能博得美人一笑的诗,就是好诗。
(玩笑)
问好。
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一地雪
童生


Joined: 14 May 2007
Posts: 38

一地雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-15 18:48:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

我这朵狠心的花

今天是牡丹,昨天还是葵属西菊



也是说开就开,说谢就谢


嘿嘿读七七的诗享受:))
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秀水
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Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 221
Location: 山东聊城
秀水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-16 05:17:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

有古典气息.颀赏问好
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秀水:省青协会员.在《星星诗刊》《绿风》《诗选刊》《常青藤诗刊》等发表诗歌散文二百余篇。兼写童话。邮箱xshx100@163.com
秀水博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/feizoudeshui
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遛达的七七
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Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2008-07-16 20:33:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

关键是,博弈能一笑,也不枉七七这番辛苦,后后

你很少写,我查了一遍,查到的不多,中间有几个不错哦!

……得,我去你那边回
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