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雨情二首
博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-05 04:42:38    Post subject: 雨情二首 Reply with quote

雨情二首


刚要出门去看米勒画展,雨又下上了,见窗外莱姆树果实累累。
后想起那日搭乘火车去看你。


1.1 行

雨后,莱姆轻挂俏枝,像乳房新成。欲


不尽的滂沱,打散光线,午后

天才
下着仙宴的酒令,一幅拾穗就泡汤了

眼睑帘剪,然后
窗格贴上一个太阳
玻璃黄橙橙的



1.2 行

当我向你奔去的时候,当我向你
拥抱我,别说

等候。雨中的距离
延长了思透时间

夏候,鸟羽毿毿,杨柳盐味
站台上,我穿过众多肉体
萌芽,一个美丽的新世界


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拈花微笑
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Joined: 21 Jan 2008
Posts: 311

拈花微笑Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-05 05:55:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

1.1 行: 视觉的华宴,目不暇接。

1.2 行: <<诗经>>中的米勒。

Laughing
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-05 08:17:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

很油画的诗, 不用去看画展了 Very Happy
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
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PostPosted: 2008-06-05 09:35:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

站台上众多忙碌的肉体,背负着各种不同的使命。
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
Posts: 778

红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-05 14:00:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

1.2。。寥寥几行,意境不断 喜欢
2.2 格式让我晕倒在站台~~~解释一下好吗~~~博弈~~哪里断哪里的句?

还居然有一个生字~~~~~~~忽悠吧!
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曲元奇
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Joined: 01 Mar 2008
Posts: 427
Location: 山东
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PostPosted: 2008-06-05 21:16:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

只是觉的好 有韵味 还说不出个所以然 再读再品
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
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PostPosted: 2008-06-05 22:50:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

回楼上两位,我要是能解释清楚,就不用写诗了。Rolling Eyes
且保留那份感觉吧!谢谢 Smile
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: 2008-06-06 15:36:02    Post subject: Reply with quote

博弈 wrote:
回楼上两位,我要是能解释清楚,就不用写诗了。Rolling Eyes
...


拥抱我,别说



继续忽悠
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梦的一端是我脉脉的凝视,
而另一端是你清澈的眼睛。
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
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PostPosted: 2008-06-07 19:15:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

红袖添乱 wrote:
博弈 wrote:
回楼上两位,我要是能解释清楚,就不用写诗了。Rolling Eyes
...


拥抱我,别说
...


抱我以雨,再赋一首



想念

又下雨了!
有时像泥鳅,有时像小鱼儿
天空游玩到池塘
还躲到后山后

我把诗题挂在你的耳垂!
不就是跑得远了些,喊你
你玎玲叮当
叮咛而来

然后
心就笑了
这雨——能蒙人
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红袖添乱
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Joined: 09 Jan 2008
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红袖添乱Collection
PostPosted: 2008-06-07 20:25:34    Post subject: Reply with quote

不蒙白不蒙~~Razz


雨是泥鳅,风是鳗鱼。游移而来,倏忽而去。
诗是网,飞撒开去

这风雨,真能馋人。
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