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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

抽烟（外2首）

黄昏雨
童生

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 01:22:40 Post subject: 抽烟（外2首）

春怨庭前落花无数,无人数梦纷披,无数,无人诉睡意朦胧任马蹄敲碎解冻的河流而杜鹃声里弱柳颤抖而杜鹃声里弱柳颤抖逢春，1月18日下午抽烟它在头顶燃烧寂静和烦闷的颜色烟圈轻盈地捏出时间的形状一只无形的大手不断打磨着一尊雕像多余的部分依次砍去开始——成型——衰老…… 而烟依旧肆无忌惮地燃烧游走的空气中什么东西被偷走黑而瘦的天幕上彗星扬起尾巴驰过逢春，1月19日夜错觉我以为我十四岁，我静静地站着那时我相信永远，多么滑稽那时我不是我，是我们现在什么也不是七年快得像一个星期像一个令人回味无穷的迷梦明天，哦，等得不耐烦的明天该醒来的就要醒来而永远早已死去逢春，1月20日凌晨 _________________ 手在弦上，心在风中

中明
童生

Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 9

中明Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 01:41:29 Post subject:

第一个有古典的意味，复沓的运用给诗歌带来听觉上的美感，后一个错觉也不错哦。

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 03:01:10 Post subject:

挺耐品的一组

和平岛
举人

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 09:56:12 Post subject:

有自己的思考 _________________ 写诗是为了写更好的诗

黄昏雨
童生

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 19:45:31 Post subject:

中明 wrote:

第一个有古典的意味，复沓的运用给诗歌带来听觉上的美感，后一个错觉也不错哦。

谢谢中明的点评。问好。
_________________
手在弦上，心在风中

黄昏雨
童生

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 19:46:29 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

挺耐品的一组

呵呵，欢迎月光光临啊。
_________________
手在弦上，心在风中

黄昏雨
童生

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection

Posted: 2007-01-21 19:47:46 Post subject:

和平岛 wrote:

有自己的思考

谢谢岛主的鼓励。逢春。
_________________
手在弦上，心在风中

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-01-22 08:58:55 Post subject:

喜欢第一和第三个,问好逢春

闲雅
秀才

Joined: 07 Jan 2007
Posts: 121
Location: Ottawa, 加拿大
闲雅Collection

Posted: 2007-01-22 19:36:02 Post subject:

问好! 握手! _________________ 闲情只自谴雅趣向谁言

黄昏雨
童生

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection

Posted: 2007-01-23 06:38:38 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

喜欢第一和第三个,问好逢春 Smile

问好半溪明月。
_________________
手在弦上，心在风中

黄昏雨
童生

Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection

Posted: 2007-01-23 06:40:54 Post subject:

闲雅 wrote:

问好! 握手!

握手。
_________________
手在弦上，心在风中

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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