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辞别冬季
莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-31 22:09:34    Post subject: 辞别冬季 Reply with quote

               
  入夜室外飘洒着春来后的第一场微雨,虽无雨声,润物的力度却很充裕。我明了缤纷喧闹的春光即将上场。是该与素色冬季作别,与轻盈妙舞的雪花相辞。尽管喜欢它安静摇落的样子,喜欢在玉色世界遐想,寻觅春的气息。也曾因严寒而抱怨冬日,可是一经离去,便又生出许多留恋之意。留恋冬季宁静的氛围,置身在宁静里,可以思考一些在喧闹时不能思考的事,这便是宁静的好处。

  习惯于宁静中的思考,在静的能听到心跳的环境里思考,思绪是自由,无拘束的。也可能会感到有些许孤独寂寞,隐隐的会感到有点欲哭之感。但这只是欲哭,并非真的哭。是一种思考和回顾的感动,这种感动,谁又能说不是一种美的提炼呢?或许,就是喜欢这样淡淡伤感而不落漠的气氛,也就喜爱了和它氛围相差无几的冬日雪景。在雪的映衬下,回味过去的年华,品评而今所思所想、展望未来可望奋斗的目标,就这样眼看着雪花飞舞,脑海思考和浮想着。无须语言的叙述,只是静静的,忽而兴致所使,提笔写几句心理吟哦的诗句,或放一首喜爱的乐曲,周围是如此惬意,有种超然物外的感觉。

  现在即将与这宁静挥手暂别,会迎来繁花浓艳的温暖。使爱花的我,又可以深醉花丛,低吟“不知归处”。虽然也曾在最冷的时候,踏雪寻觅春的痕迹。但当真把春迎来之后,又有些留恋那寻觅的过程,还有在寒冷中的渴望。回首那渐远的冬日,尽管带来了诸多不便,我仍感谢在萧瑟中的期盼,感谢在雪景中冷静的思考和万物短暂休憩。没有这休憩,又何以抖擞精神点缀斑斓的春天?

  因此,留恋一路走来时所有景观,无论美丽与缺陷,我都会感念在这过程中的所得。此刻与之作别之际,用心婉转轻语,
“希望再会时,彼此回眸都是美好的从前!”
  微雨依旧缠绵的滋润,思绪与回顾依然盘旋在心头挥之不去,就让雨伴我回顾,回顾不是挽留过去,而是为了明天更充实的继续。
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冰清
同进士出身


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 1921

冰清Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-01 15:39:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

一向欣赏并学习莹雪在"宁静中思考", 在坚忍中释放.

开篇婉转的文字,也给人以含蓄、内敛之感.
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-01 15:59:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

冰清 wrote:
一向欣赏并学习莹雪在"宁静中思考", 在坚忍中释放.
...
谢谢的点评!问候您 Razz
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-01 17:00:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

莹雪披了半身雪,怎么辞别冬天啊?

如以纸刊发表标准要求,可以再“慢点、细点、新点”。与君共勉!
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-01 18:58:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
莹雪披了半身雪,怎么辞别冬天啊?
...
呵呵,那我就叫“莹莹” sticking tongue
嗯,请明确一下。 shake hands 也好修改
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William Zhou周道模
探花


Joined: 10 Jun 2007
Posts: 3950
Location: 中国四川广汉
William Zhou周道模Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-01 23:05:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

探讨哈:

现在是朦胧的感觉、感受。“辞冬迎春”的立意很常见,怎样写出不同于别人的新意来是成功的

首要因素。文学是发现、创新,不是常态。

可以增添具体的细节性的人、事、景,情思化在其中。新意出来了,细节也就出来了,语言节奏自

然就舒缓(慢)流畅了。

说易做难,与君共勉。
_________________
诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-02 00:26:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

William Zhou周道模 wrote:
探讨哈:

现在是朦胧的感觉、感受。“辞冬迎春”的立意很常见,怎样写出不同于别人的新意来是成功的

首要因素。文学是发现、创新,不是常态。

可以增添具体的细节性的人、事、景,情思化在其中。新意出来了,细节也就出来了,语言节奏自

然就舒缓(慢)流畅了。

说易做难,与君共勉。
哦,明白。是要在细节方面调整。谢谢建议!
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-02 01:12:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

很仔细地读了本文及你们的讨论,我觉得就本文而言,注重细节,也即落到实处,勿虚! Embarassed
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-02 16:09:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-03 15:39:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

很让人感到宁静; 欣赏并问好。
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-03 22:03:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

悠子 wrote:
很让人感到宁静; 欣赏并问好。
谢谢悠子点评,问好!
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祖克慰
童生


Joined: 22 Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Location: 中国河南省南阳市
祖克慰Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-23 04:30:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

“回顾不是挽留过去,而是为了明天更充实的继续。”很美,够了
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莹雪
进士出身


Joined: 28 Sep 2006
Posts: 2520
Location: 中国-辽宁·三燕故都
莹雪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-23 22:12:18    Post subject: Reply with quote

祖克慰 wrote:
“回顾不是挽留过去,而是为了明天更充实的继续。”很美,够了
谢谢点评!
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