Maple Review Home
   Chinese Literature Society of North America | Maple Review | Immigrants in Canada | Angel Studio | The Driftwood Artist Society | Ocean of Poetry | Island of Music
"HuaHe Cup" 2007 Chinese Mainland and Oversea Poetry Competition and Non-governmental Magazines and Newspapers Joint Exhibition starts on the first day of 2007.
  
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister  ProfileProfile    Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Sign inSign in   BlogsBlogs    Weblogs NewsWeblogs News   AlbumAlbum 
English Home Bilingual Home Chinese Home
Dictionary Check Poems' Rules & Forms Search for Chinese Poems Poetry & Music

Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌 Post new topic   Reply to topic
●电扇
郭全华
秀才


Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-13 00:31:10    Post subject: ●电扇 Reply with quote

●电扇

用她十多年
除了蒙尘,什么也没变
我安静的擦她
顺便想 这么些年
为什么她不出毛病
多少朋友和婚姻
不是被扔掉就是要修补
天热一年又一年
电扇吹我一夏又一夏
是什么阻止我
对她生出感恩之心


●谁给他遮蔽的树叶

105国道路宽阔平坦,虽然用旧了
并不妨碍车水马龙中散落着
中国式的富足,自在,得意

那个女人,漂亮白嫩的女人
从轿车里探出头
惊讶,专注使她愈加生动
顺着她的视线
我看到路边一个男子身体一览无余
脸脏,表情平静
他双手叉腰,像模特造型
用身体中间黑色部分与喧腾的国道对峙
我突然冒汗,像做错了事的孩子
把眼睛移开。国道上人流如潮
唯独路边的农妇低着头,像哭又像笑

阳光照着眼前的盛世,照着路边的杂草与七月
我真想请师傅停车
让我去请开那个男子
或者给他一片遮蔽的树叶
_________________
借助诗歌,努力把自己活成一棵树,白天向上,夜里向下.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-13 01:54:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

欣赏最后一首诗。
_________________
杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
郭全华
秀才


Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-15 22:10:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好冲浪兄弟
_________________
借助诗歌,努力把自己活成一棵树,白天向上,夜里向下.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-15 23:03:41    Post subject: Reply with quote

叙事沉稳,第一首有对人生和婚姻的感悟,第二首有强烈的对比效果,震撼人心~问好郭全华老师,新春好!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-02-16 00:04:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

第2首,语言不错

但是,我不明白

即使,有这样的行为

也没有什么

一个草民而已,

无须有这样的“心理过程”

个人看法。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
郭全华
秀才


Joined: 28 Feb 2007
Posts: 145

郭全华Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-03 04:04:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

回迪拜,我的意思是反映社会问题,在发达的今天,为什么我们还有人衣不遮体,坦然出现在繁华的国道上
_________________
借助诗歌,努力把自己活成一棵树,白天向上,夜里向下.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-04-03 21:50:37    Post subject: Reply with quote

也许诗人认为社会问题太多

但是

如今的大时代,大环境

这样的事确实已经很难引起共鸣了

如果再加上有“外来文化的占领”

“一个裸体男子”

很难说清“事件的本质”。

最后1段处理得不好

表现出“不屑的意味”

破坏了全篇。
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-04-03 23:05:05    Post subject: Reply with quote

倒是更喜欢第一首。浅显的几句,令人思索回味。手法纯熟老道。
第二首呢,因为在国外时间长的缘故,对裸体已经没特别的感觉了,因为老外特喜欢裸。
另外,“。。反映社会问题,在发达的今天,为什么我们还有人衣不遮体” 不是很成立。因为在这个个案中,更大的可能性是他有精神问题。这本身不是很尖锐的社会问题。浅见。
_________________
I'm nobody! Who are you?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Blog
Display posts from previous:   
Emoticons
Very Happy Smile Sad Surprised
Shocked Confused Cool Laughing
Mad Razz Embarassed Crying or Very sad
Evil or Very Mad Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Wink
Exclamation Question Idea Arrow
View more Emoticons
Page 1 of 1           View previous topic View next topic    
Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌    Post new topic   Reply to topic
Jump to:  


Once you post your works here, that means you submits them to the magazine of Maple Review (North American Maple, or BeiMeiFeng), a bilingual journal published by Chinese Literature Society of North America. The magazine holds the right to translate them into Chinese, and publish them in both languages. You need to be responsible for the copyright issues of your own files uploaded.
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
phpBB Chinese interface was translated by iCy-fLaME