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Some Notes on Bei Mei Feng poems for translators
shi di fu
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注册时间: 2007-01-07
帖子: 21
来自: Victoria
shi di fu北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-15 04:09:36    发表主题: Some Notes on Bei Mei Feng poems for translators 引用并回复

Hello Bei Mei Feng Translators:

Ihope these notes help you translate these poems.




Derk Wynand’s “Too Naked too Wingless”

Federico Fellini is a famous Italian film director and Amarcord one of his films.

Butt to butt—屁股对屁股 and this is echoes in “butting” farther along in the poem.

Eldercare system—看老人的制度


Derk Wynand’s “Translation”


Fifth stanza—Lie 躺下 and lie 慌话,because they rhyme and this is like the homophonic relationship between lie and lie.


Rebecca Frederickson’s “Night Driving”

Gutbucket—肚子的感觉


Rebecca Fredrickson’s “Sleeping in the Desert”

Carpe diem—住现在的哲学


“starry, starry” must be repeated as this is a reference to a Don McLean song about Vincent Van Gogh.

Elizabeth Bachinksy’s “Anthropomorphic”—“Anthropomorphic”—把动物思想成人。


John Barton’s “Aquarium”

“Arhythmic” 这个医学的, 好像心脏节作似的,但是不定期的。

‘narcissistic”—自己爱情


Jane Munro’s “Beehive”

Berm—ditch, trench




Catherine Greenwood’s “Ring-necked Pheasant”

“Loosestrife” is a type of weed. Embedded here is the idea of sorrow spreading like a weed.

“Four and twenty” is an archaic way of saying twenty four and must be retained in the translation, as it is an echo of the nursery rhyme “four and twenty blackbirds/baked into a pie.”

“Bare tables” See Shakespeare’s Hamlet, “the funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the wedding tables”.

Catherine Greenwood’s “Blue Pumps”

Acrilon—synthetic material


Heidi Greco’s “Spring Camp Deep Creek”

Bungee-stretchy rope as in bungee jumping

Pterodactyl—huge flying dinosaur

Cocooned- wrapped like the pupae of chrysalid-like insects.


“Focus” by Steve McOrmond

Durer—Albrecht Durer—14th C. European artist.



如果你们有问题,请你们问我把
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戴玨
秀才


注册时间: 2007-01-03
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戴玨北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-15 04:42:35    发表主题: Re: Some Notes on Bei Mei Feng poems for translators 引用并回复

shi di fu 写到:
Heidi Greco’s “Spring Camp Deep Creek”

Bungee-stretchy rope as in bungee jumping

Pterodactyl—huge flying dinosaur

Cocooned- wrapped like the pupae of chrysalid-like insects.
...
如果你们有问题,请你们问我把

詩中提到了海,請問Creek是不是指小海灣?
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shi di fu
童生


注册时间: 2007-01-07
帖子: 21
来自: Victoria
shi di fu北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-15 04:58:28    发表主题: Practical Anxiety 引用并回复

HI,

I don't understand your question about "Practical Anxiety"--do you mean this phrase should be repeated in the 第四行?

Creek不是“海湾”, 而是“一条小河“

Strains--诗人说对了。不是“stains".

Thanks for translating...


Steve
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戴玨
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戴玨北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-15 05:03:23    发表主题: Re: Practical Anxiety 引用并回复

shi di fu 写到:
HI,

I don't understand your question about "Practical Anxiety"--do you mean this phrase should be repeated in the 第四行?

I thought 'strains' was a typo.
shi di fu 写到:
Creek不是“海湾”, 而是“一条小河“

Strains--诗人说对了。不是“stains".

Thanks for translating...


Steve

謝謝你的回答。疑慮消除了。 Smile
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maybe
童生


注册时间: 2006-12-31
帖子: 18

maybe北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-15 22:25:27    发表主题: 引用并回复

随手查列几个(译者亦应当自己查查),没全列出,你大概知道我的意思就好 Smile

Derk Wynand’s “Too Naked too Wingless”

Federico Fellini is a famous Italian film director and Amarcord one of his films.

Ref.: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071129/


Butt to butt—屁股对屁股 and this is echoes in “butting” farther along in the poem.

Eldercare system—看老人的制度 –〉老年看护制度,系统?


Derk Wynand’s “Translation”



Rebecca Frederickson’s “Night Driving”

Gutbucket—肚子的感觉 ???

gut•buck•et
n.
1. An early type of jazz characterized by a strong beat and rollicking delivery, similar to barrelhouse.
2. A homemade bass instrument.



Rebecca Fredrickson’s “Sleeping in the Desert”

Carpe diem—住现在的哲学 ???

Carpe diem ,an admonition to seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.
Latin. seize the day; enjoy the present, as opposed to placing all hope in the future.

Also, another version of the same poem by the same poetess is as follows:

Carpe Diem says his pack of Marquise,
Normally I don't--
but here--
The smoke curls through, storming her
like starry starry night.

Confusing a head rush with transport,
she tunnels back to Kootenay Lake.
To a rental farm house,
to a basement door snapped off at its hinges,
a black passageway, darkness
framed in relative darkness,
a black rectangle that terrified her nightly.
The vertigo she felt just passing it--

she shares a woolly blanket with a stranger,
breathes a too-strong cigarette,
confuses nicotine with happiness.

Pour me another glass of Moroccan whiskey,
she mistakes lukewarm sugar and mint for desire.
The tail of the scorpion
for the serrated side-face of a new moon.



“starry, starry” must be repeated as this is a reference to a Don McLean song about Vincent Van Gogh. 这歌真有关系吗,在这里?由上下文看,应该只是说那幅画,与歌无关。

Elizabeth Bachinksy’s “Anthropomorphic”—“Anthropomorphic”—把动物思想成人。 -〉将人外的事物予以拟人的,


John Barton’s “Aquarium”

“Arhythmic” 这个医学的, 好像心脏节作似的,但是不定期的。
I think this is a typo, the word should be arrhythmic
Meaning: not rhythmic; irregular in beat or accent, or 没有节奏

‘narcissistic”—自己爱情 ?? ->自恋自大的


Jane Munro’s “Beehive”

Berm—ditch, trench ???

没看完,如果先前有疑义,后面的我自也不能完全采信啦。
剩下的译者自己来吧。 Cool
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hepingdao
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注册时间: 2006-05-25
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hepingdao北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-15 22:42:46    发表主题: 引用并回复

shi di fu 是英文诗人
能够懂一些中文, 真的很令我敬佩了
Very Happy
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maybe
童生


注册时间: 2006-12-31
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maybe北美枫文集
帖子发表于: 2007-01-16 00:12:40    发表主题: 引用并回复

hepingdao 写到:
shi di fu 是英文诗人
能够懂一些中文, 真的很令我敬佩了
Very Happy


噢,难怪,我不知道是这样。

看看“Carpe diem—住现在的哲学“
我想他是把英文译意”living the now philosophy"
又给转成中文了。可爱!

不过,其它地方,还是得proofread一下,付印后就不好改了。
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