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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-16 02:55:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

日记


铁在夜中奔跑
时间射出子弹
石头燃起大火
焚了这个夜
焚了这个夜

夜是沉默的宫殿
床和自己狂欢
王拿下头颅
明天站在眼前
花朵开到天边

人们开始相恋
人们开始相恋
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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-16 02:56:25    Post subject: Reply with quote

黑色的玫瑰


城市是发光的蕊堆
夜是我的玫瑰
黑色的玫瑰

黎明将至
夜将枯萎
我的植于时间之土的玫瑰
我的玫瑰与谁

我亲爱的人
我远方的人
你在我的温柔的夜里沉睡
我所能与你的
只有温柔的
淡淡的
玫瑰的香味
如若你
春天曾给我的
粉色的

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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-16 03:14:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

HI, 偶像. 看见你真高兴.
很不错的一组诗歌, 但还是分开发好些, 便于交流. 问好 Very Happy
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下一个偶像是野兽
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Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-18 00:04:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好白水。

Smile
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歪歪1981
童生


Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 28

歪歪1981Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-18 05:43:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

好多,粗读下来,感觉比较大气
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上城
进士出身


Joined: 15 Mar 2007
Posts: 2024
Location: 江夏黄鹤楼
上城Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-18 16:36:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

诗的节奏感很强。日记,海子好像写过。

时间的玫瑰,北岛写过?

黑色玫瑰


时间 花开放出黑色的花蕾
夜色是寂寞们的黑色玫瑰
灯光如泪
颤抖的堆

你开进一个等待的生命
我看着你每一次花开花败
当明天悄然而来
花瓣凋落成影子
我们彼此等待

黑色的玫瑰

城市是发光的蕊堆
夜是我的玫瑰
黑色的玫瑰

何黎明将至
夜将枯萎
我的植于时间之土的玫瑰
我的玫瑰与谁e

我亲爱的人
我远方的人
你他在我的温柔的夜里沉睡
我所能与你
只有温柔的
淡淡的
玫瑰的香味
如若和你
春天曾给我的
粉色的
说吻
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每个诗人都很重要
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pangmengfdchina
童生


Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Posts: 2

pangmengfdchinaCollection
PostPosted: 2008-03-26 04:58:12    Post subject: Reply with quote

不知奔向何方
穿过黑夜的故乡

个人感觉 这两句 换一下好点
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我很懒
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-26 20:24:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

愤怒的呐喊。正如作者的名字一样,诗歌里充满着野性,冲斥着力。
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