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声 音
Holybolt
秀才


Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 110
Location: China
HolyboltCollection
PostPosted: 2008-03-08 17:06:42    Post subject: 声 音 Reply with quote

声 音



春风拂去寒夜的所有眼睛
只剩下群山里的脊背
我保留着暖暖的黑,和
一声破碎

怎能不去警醒、不去敲击
那白色的神经?即便是破碎
那就让她破碎吧,纸屑里传承的
是厮杀过后的宁静和沉醉

我来自卷起的疲惫
来自冻雨、溶化和眼泪
呼吸穿透了干涸
穿透了我皱纹里的植被

我只铭记一棵柏树体内的泉
和含在嘴里的河流


20080308
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赵福治
探花


Joined: 30 May 2006
Posts: 3456
Location: 中国北京
赵福治Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-08 17:47:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

只铭记一棵柏树体内的泉
和含在嘴里的河流

...................灵动的结尾.
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明天朔
童生


Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 31
Location: 中国肥城
明天朔Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-08 18:05:57    Post subject: Reply with quote

皱纹里的植被
——也不错;问好!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-08 18:32:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

好诗歌,语言的陌生化处理,使诗意更浓厚~
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莞君
秀才


Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Posts: 561
Location: 中国 陕西
莞君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-08 21:13:14    Post subject: Reply with quote

我来自卷起的疲惫
来自冻雨、溶化和眼泪
呼吸穿透了干涸
穿透了我皱纹里的植被

我只铭记一棵柏树体内的泉
和含在嘴里的河流

很精彩的几句 欣赏 学习了 问好
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莞君
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Holybolt
秀才


Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 110
Location: China
HolyboltCollection
PostPosted: 2008-03-09 04:04:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

感谢以上三位朋友的鼓励!
谢谢了!握手^_^
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杨海军
进士出身


Joined: 01 Mar 2007
Posts: 2205
Location: 吉林
杨海军Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-09 14:47:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

觉得Holybolt诗人的诗充满了神秘,语言让人震惊.期待诗人更多的好作品!!!
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走了很久了。还清晰地望见/身后那盏明灭的灯火/好像我们走的越久越远/故乡的那盏灯就越亮
——拙作《离开村庄》
http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1269376751
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歪歪1981
童生


Joined: 17 Jan 2008
Posts: 28

歪歪1981Collection
PostPosted: 2008-03-09 17:05:08    Post subject: Reply with quote

这样的诗歌能让人读到痛感,结尾更喜欢,问好
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Holybolt
秀才


Joined: 27 Feb 2008
Posts: 110
Location: China
HolyboltCollection
PostPosted: 2008-03-10 04:20:20    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢了海军和歪歪1981
多谢关注!
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