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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

各有天命

风动松柏
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Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-10 06:49:33 Post subject: 各有天命

各有天命大风裹挟暴雨不期而至平静的钟摆无视这一切嘀哒嘀哒左右摇摆和和的风吹得紫荆树疯狂摇摆彷佛风中一根装饰的时间发条在这场风暴中拉动时间发狂般要时辰急剧运行一只蝴蝶扑飞一下又跌倒瞬间又扑飞一下，又跌倒雨水急速地扑泼玻璃窗雨点扑打着白色小花嘀嘀哒哒那盘蝴蝶兰正躲避雨三四朵齐开我惊奇，这紫色的蝴蝶振翅欲飞—— 有些要飞的东西飞不动有些不动的东西不动而飞彷佛大拇指和小拇指，各有短长手掌大于脚掌—— 各有天命梦的启示无数只天马奔突也有一群群恶狼发着绿光蹑行牛群警觉着吃草突然，狼群向水牛发动进攻尖锐的角，把狼的肚子剌穿一只狼被抛得老远狼群嗥嚎着，向天空我站立的一棵树刹那间上升恐慌万状的我摇摇欲坠一只手悬空，眼睛瞪得老大莫名的惊喊中，彷佛------ 其实情景与对话并不相称我始终闭着眼睛，只是嘴巴神秘解读彷佛一个配音员叙述一群鹿角马以惊惶的速度，渡过满布鳄鱼的河我醒后明白，生活在梦中的人始终，要走出自我的世界 _________________ 我爱是因为有所不爱

kokho
进士出身

Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection

Posted: 2007-01-10 08:09:57 Post subject:

老弟诗风大进形象也用的开阔得很！ _________________ 乒乓、摄影、诗歌

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2007-01-10 09:09:29 Post subject:

我醒后明白，生活在梦中的人始终，要走出自我的世界豁然开朗, 不错

hepingdao
Site Admin

Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection

Posted: 2007-01-10 09:26:19 Post subject:

能够从诗歌的生活里提升出一些哲学的思考, 或者说是悟很不错的现代意识更强一些 _________________ 为网友服务: 端茶倒水勤打扫!

司马策风
举人

Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 1211
Location: 温哥华
司马策风Collection

Posted: 2007-01-10 22:23:34 Post subject:

说佛，说理。《梦的启示》更富有戏剧味，更简洁。握手 _________________ 《北美枫》司马策风文集 http://www.maplereview.org/best.php?t=8676

风动松柏
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Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-11 07:07:17 Post subject:

谢谢. _________________ 我爱是因为有所不爱

风动松柏
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Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-27 03:33:07 Post subject:

kokho wrote:

老弟诗风大进

形象也用的开阔得很！

谢谢并问好.
_________________
我爱是因为有所不爱

风动松柏
秀才

Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-27 03:34:43 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

我醒后明白，生活在梦中的人
始终，要走出自我的世界

豁然开朗, 不错

谢谢你的评阅.
_________________
我爱是因为有所不爱

风动松柏
秀才

Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-27 03:36:57 Post subject:

hepingdao wrote:

能够从诗歌的生活里
提升出一些哲学的思考, 或者说是悟
很不错的

现代意识更强一些
Very Happy

谢谢,问好.
_________________
我爱是因为有所不爱

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2007-01-27 03:56:08 Post subject:

其实情景与对话并不相称我始终闭着眼睛，只是嘴巴神秘解读彷佛一个配音员叙述一群鹿角马以惊惶的速度，渡过满布鳄鱼的河我醒后明白，生活在梦中的人始终，要走出自我的世界喜欢第二首~

风动松柏
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Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-27 04:43:29 Post subject:

半溪明月 wrote:

其实情景与对话并不相称
我始终闭着眼睛，只是嘴巴神秘解读
彷佛一个配音员叙述一群鹿角马
以惊惶的速度，渡过满布鳄鱼的河
我醒后明白，生活在梦中的人
始终，要走出自我的世界

喜欢第二首~

谢谢,已修改.
_________________
我爱是因为有所不爱

风动松柏
秀才

Joined: 01 Jan 2007
Posts: 197

风动松柏Collection

Posted: 2007-01-28 07:19:07 Post subject:

司马策风 wrote:

说佛，说理。《梦的启示》更富有戏剧味，更简洁。

握手

谢谢.
_________________
我爱是因为有所不爱

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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