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回响
佳忆
童生


Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 23:38:54    Post subject: 回响 Reply with quote

因为雷声
我听不到遥远的风
是如何吹开,海的一角
夏日里,总会有人说
秋风,清爽

我看到
茱萸入药时的痛
桅子花开时的纯白
于是,望向海
看,海浪拍打礁石
倾听, 回响

纸鸳,羁绊在树上
你一直说影子
唠叨成,八月的滂沱
下,也不是
不下,也不是

春天里的事,该戏说
还是该涂上唇彩,回味甜蜜?
我一直在等
等待花开,四季
无雨
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我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 03:07:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

上次跟荷梦帖说起诗歌的性别,不说内容,仅从断句的方式所传达的呼吸节奏。
佳忆这个,也很典型。加上内容,堪称代表作罢。
男士读起来,也会不由温柔下来,因为气短,一口气要喘好几小口。
当然,英雄本来也有气短的一面。
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I'm nobody! Who are you?
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 03:35:42    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing singer
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 03:52:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

我看到
茱萸入药时的痛
桅子花开时的纯白
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 07:20:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

佳忆,NY看出性别来了~
诗歌读来有词的韵味,轻婉,柔美,淡淡愁续缭绕
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刘雨萍
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 13:24:26    Post subject: Reply with quote

我朗格就没看出性别来?倒是读出了诗本身的柔美。
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隔海抒情
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-22 14:41:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

有味. 佳忆MM好
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中国湖北:文胜
秀才


Joined: 20 Dec 2007
Posts: 149
Location: 中国湖北省襄樊市
中国湖北:文胜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-23 23:09:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

我只说三句话,加上偷的一句,我的话也说完了。咦,总是少一句:问好了哈 Laughing
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无他。爱诗,仅此。
诗心、歌爱、走路。足矣!
个人网站http://blog.sina.com.cn/ak5hmwz79sytbd0d
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