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打工之六 <<色情物质>> <<废墟之思>> <<速度>>
嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 19:31:41    Post subject: 打工之六 <<色情物质>> <<废墟之思>> <<速度>> Reply with quote

在京打工 (之六)

1
色情物质

为色情而生并成为它的掌中之物
我捍卫自己神圣的冲动
并认为自己仍然是人

我要你
这是激情所致
与爱有关
与爱情无关

我要你 完了休息几分钟
我还要

我是我的废弃物
为色情而生

2
废墟之思

站在巨大的垃圾堆上
我就活在垃圾堆上

车流是不断扩编的
钢铁和橡胶的军队
兵士们嗝肌痉挛
喷吐乙醇放着汽油的哑屁
蓝天指数一再下降
乌云是地面垃圾的影像

我站立,与灯对峙
我是我自己的灯
灯下黑
太阳的核心肯定更黑

我是我自己的荒谬
也是别人 你们和社会的荒谬

3
速度

卷扬机疯了
水泥钢筋疯了
点钞机疯了
刘乙太也疯了
新闻联播疯了
地球疯了

祖国在原始村落的一角
看着都市的疯人院

2020年.是的.2020年作.
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我为自己唱挽歌---文学是个人的选择,不是集体的强加
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 19:54:07    Post subject: Reply with quote

欢迎兄弟,我感觉到你的诗歌蕴藏着一种反抗和呐喊的情绪,对丑恶之不满。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-18 23:05:53    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢冲浪 久仰 我们自己也很丑恶 但我不同自己和解 故而无情地露自己.
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荷梦
进士出身


Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北,黄梅
荷梦Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-19 01:38:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

连读了你的六组诗,原生态的打工者诗歌,不过感觉你的思想太消沉了。诚然,生活中有很多丑恶,但不能否认,它也有积极美好的一面。换一种眼光看生活吧!如果眼睛里只有丑恶,活着真的是了无趣味了!
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嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-21 19:21:46    Post subject: Reply with quote

啊,有道理.但我宁可偏激,也不中庸.艺术必须走极端道路.

不过.我是一个积极乐观之人.勿忧.
另外,文也不必如其人.谢谢关注.问好荷梦
.
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-23 23:58:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

赞同!
感觉是个人的体验
不是集体的描述
更不是社会的传染
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-24 17:34:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

“乌云是地面垃圾的影像”
“太阳的核心肯定更黑”

这样的句子
看来还是用了思考的心写的
不落俗套,不引典故,就写当下,很好!
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嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-29 01:01:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢 博弈先生鼓励!我将不断自找缺点,不断完善。
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