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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

废园(落尘诗社后)

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:28:59 Post subject: 废园(落尘诗社后)

废园你的废园是我的眷恋枯黄和苔青涂抹着幽深的静谧和婉约痴迷如蔓延的草乱窜的枝条，寻找斑斓的漆上你剥落的笑凭栏远眺一断流水一座小桥石凳上的尘飞荡着你的逍遥星星珠帘淡淡月色将我轻笼谁在意，诧紫嫣红 01/14/2008

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:30:03 Post subject:

谢谢博弈和诗盗.

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:32:32 Post subject:

落尘之后是不同

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:53:32 Post subject:

让坎的不同了, 不过还好，不痛

白水
大学士

Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 01:59:03 Post subject:

我习惯一首诗歌写好后, 非得沉淀一段等有了新的灵感再改动. 看来得向你们学学

悠子
举人

Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 02:37:31 Post subject:

白水 Moonlight wrote:

我习惯一首诗歌写好后, 非得沉淀一段等有了新的灵感再改动. 看来得向你们学学 Very Happy

我也是随意的，想也没有用。。。不过这回是为了不能辜负落尘诗社~。不知诗盗要怎样谢我

博弈
榜眼

Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection

Posted: 2008-01-14 03:19:38 Post subject:

喜欢. _________________ （在不斷的審醜裡終將建立起新的審美）

nobody
进士出身

Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection

Posted: 2008-01-15 04:28:49 Post subject:

好感觉.音乐性再稍强点,就成徐志摩了静谧和婉约... 这类词不应该出现,不是诗歌语言,个见 _________________ I'm nobody! Who are you?

荷梦
进士出身

Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2826
Location: 湖北，黄梅
荷梦Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 04:56:22 Post subject:

很美，语言意境。。。

半溪明月
榜眼

Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 16:55:59 Post subject:

很美~

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:13:40 Post subject:

谢，这得重重谢！决定把祖传秘方分享到你（健康与美容）。祖传的喔！好几代哪！超级连接不会弄！唉～再编辑：扭吧弟似乎说得有道理，为何不阐述一下观点，让想学习的朋友吸收吸收。 _________________ 可情可理，去捧就真

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:21:06 Post subject:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

谢，这得重重谢！决定把祖传秘方分享到你（健康与美容）。祖传的喔！好几代哪！

再编辑：扭吧弟似乎说得有道理，为何不阐述一下观点，让想学习的朋友吸收吸收。
...

咋成这样！麻烦班长删这贴。抱歉！谢谢！
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

佳忆
童生

Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:34:57 Post subject:

谱上曲子一定很美..... _________________ 我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:37:09 Post subject:

佳忆 wrote:

谱上曲子一定很美.....

您数学有问题，俺咋算都是四句半！
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

佳忆
童生

Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:44:32 Post subject:

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:

佳忆 wrote:

谱上曲子一定很美.....

您数学有问题，俺咋算都是四句半！

现在的歌可以乱唱...没有说道的...

呵呵

问好诗盗...握手...
_________________
我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 17:52:00 Post subject:

佳忆 wrote:

诗盗喜裸评 wrote:

佳忆 wrote:

谱上曲子一定很美.....

您数学有问题，俺咋算都是四句半！

现在的歌可以乱唱...没有说道的...
...

我喜欢唱歌，也喜欢说道，我喜欢这个世界有逻辑，却也知道没有逻辑就是逻辑的真义。
您好啊！欢迎到（落尘诗社）一坐，我希望的不仅仅是握手。

http://oson.ca/viewforum.php?f=170
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

佳忆
童生

Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Posts: 96

佳忆Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 18:08:12 Post subject:

去拜访了...有点怕,怕经不住打.... 不知诗盗打人滴时候,是不是看人选工具涅..... 呵呵... _________________ 我只说三句话,加上上面的一句,我的话说完了

詩盜喜裸評
进士出身

Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾，台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection

Posted: 2008-01-15 18:45:47 Post subject:

佳忆 wrote:

去拜访了...有点怕,怕经不住打....
...

没啊？没见着哪？怎说打？（落尘诗社）想把许多作者对诗的观点、技巧等做一番整理，让我可以好好吸收！
_________________
可情可理，去捧就真

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Maple Review Home -> 现代诗歌

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