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零度空间1[2]  Next
白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 05:34:22    Post subject: 零度空间 Reply with quote

零度空间

(一)

枯藤老树缠绕的心事
早已入土
为根 为生命所必须之血脉
囚于一枚茧
不忍缫丝, 不忍煮你于沸
裹一片雪花
悄然转身

七七四十九天
北斗指北
第零度空间 让我们
轮回 如果再一个
五千年
半张撕破的宣纸, 你
可否记得?

(二)

丰收的秋后
不是春
极地风冷
你用胸口的余烟
温热我冻僵的手指

下雪了
窗外一片缟素
如我, 清空的磁盘
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 06:53:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

合約呢?合約?
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 07:46:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

已贴满全枫各主要电线杆和卫生间 Laughing
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 07:51:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
已贴满全枫各主要电线杆和卫生间 Laughing


並不以此為止,亦不以此為滿。計畫貼滿所有華文網站!有華文的地方,就有這紙合約~哈哈
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 08:01:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

HI, DD, 没人, 还再想合同啊. 那DD就再帮我发64个帖. Wink

玩笑归玩笑, 更想听你们评诗歌.这次象谜语吗 Confused
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 09:46:11    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
HI, DD, 没人, 还再想合同啊. 那DD就再帮我发64个帖. Wink
...


想聽嗎?詩盜寫給你!不過合約得先執行,很賴皮耶!
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 11:44:45    Post subject: Reply with quote

什么合约啊,怎么看不懂~呵呵,让诗盗给解解,是像谜语~
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 12:02:19    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
什么合约啊,怎么看不懂~呵呵,让诗盗给解解,是像谜语~


到‘落尘诗社’评评!您!真是健忘~
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 13:23:23    Post subject: Reply with quote

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
HI, DD, 没人, 还再想合同啊. 那DD就再帮我发64个帖. Wink
...


想聽嗎?詩盜寫給你!不過合約得先執行,很賴皮耶!


合約得先執行? DD, 我真不明白你说什么? Embarassed
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詩盜喜裸評
进士出身


Joined: 15 May 2007
Posts: 2984
Location: 台湾,台北
詩盜喜裸評Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 14:14:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
HI, DD, 没人, 还再想合同啊. 那DD就再帮我发64个帖. Wink
...


想听吗?诗盗写给你!不过合约得先执行,很赖皮耶!


合约得先执行? DD, 我真不明白你说什么? Embarassed


天哪!还讲不讲理呀?合约是:我接受您的处罚,您好好休个假。回来以后捏,到落尘诗社把每一贴都再回过、批过,外加发首作品。这就是合约内容!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 15:32:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

詩盜喜裸評 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
诗盗喜裸评 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
HI, DD, 没人, 还再想合同啊. 那DD就再帮我发64个帖. Wink
...


想听吗?诗盗写给你!不过合约得先执行,很赖皮耶!


合约得先执行? DD, 我真不明白你说什么? Embarassed


天哪!还讲不讲理呀?合约是:我接受您的处罚,您好好休个假。回来以后捏,到落尘诗社把每一贴都再回过、批过,外加发首作品。这就是合约内容!


WOW. DD, 什么时候定的这不平等条约. 我怎么不知道啊 Razz
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嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 15:52:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

向您学习.我的诗歌太具体,缺少概念.

说白了,再形象的艺术形式,也都是在演绎概念.对否,请教.
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 01:29:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

囚于一枚茧
不忍缫丝, 不忍煮你于沸
裹一片雪花
悄然转身
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 01:31:16    Post subject: Reply with quote

嘉慕思 wrote:
向您学习.我的诗歌太具体,缺少概念.
...


问好朋友, 我写诗歌总是情感所致,信手拈来, 从不刻意追求什么, 也没想许多. Embarassed
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 01:37:50    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
嘉慕思 wrote:
向您学习.我的诗歌太具体,缺少概念.
...


问好朋友, 我写诗歌总是情感所致,信手拈来, 从不刻意追求什么, 也没想许多. Embarassed

这样甚好,诗歌不一定要不朽,但一定在某刻感人.或者感动自己.问侯白水!
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 01:46:54    Post subject: Reply with quote

溪语 wrote:
白水 Moonlight wrote:
嘉慕思 wrote:
向您学习.我的诗歌太具体,缺少概念.
...


问好朋友, 我写诗歌总是情感所致,信手拈来, 从不刻意追求什么, 也没想许多. Embarassed

这样甚好,诗歌不一定要不朽,但一定在某刻感人.或者感动自己.问侯白水!


谢谢溪语, 爱诗的人都太感性, 也容易伤害自己. 正因如此, 该听听朋友们的拔出来的好.
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悠子
举人


Joined: 04 Jan 2008
Posts: 1383
Location: US
悠子Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 01:51:10    Post subject: Reply with quote

我写诗也是信手拈来, 只不过很糟糕~。 喜欢零度空间。
回来就让诗盗吵着Smile
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 02:01:38    Post subject: Reply with quote

悠子 wrote:
我写诗也是信手拈来, 只不过很糟糕~。 喜欢零度空间。
...


是啊, 清零才有更新. 问好
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刘雨萍
秀才


Joined: 25 Jan 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Houston, TX. U.S.A
刘雨萍Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 04:11:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水,给你一个迟到的新年问候。很久没来,差点忘了登陆密码。刚才发送又搞错了。惭愧 Embarassed

下雪了
窗外一片缟素
如我, 清空的磁盘

自2000搬出芝加哥,我已好多年没看过雪花了。
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 05:34:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

光顾玩笑了,诗还没看。
看了,觉得狠好,多处有新意。整体有肃杀感。能在短短几行里营造出来,就更觉可贵。
千万别弄长了,哈哈。。。会冻死人地。
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