命犯桃花（三首） (中英)

[jemmy]

命犯桃花（三首）
黄娟
口吹树叶
当心中鸟雀欢鸣
阳光把眼睛的山野照绿
姑娘新芽一样的亮在脑海
春天的旋律
便在唇间悠扬地漾开


很小的时候树叶折成喇叭形
骑在牛背上的时候学着大人们的能耐
树叶成片往唇间一摆
如今，什么叶片对应什么音色
已经爱情一样明白

口吹树叶
最本我的声音
风一样随意畅游山野
自然的质地
胜于天籁

命犯桃花
只好一个城市一个城市地流浪
命犯桃花
相亲的泪珠
不能成露
只有在挤得扁扁的异乡假日里


因为邮局的队列排得太长
不等到家
支撑着疲惫的汇单
已经风干

带颗种子回家
再薄命的红颜
不怕灿烂
满山坡上的三月
笑脸和桃花一样绽放

记起女孩
不断有消息传来
关于基层那女孩
长久的沉寂中本来已经记不起边塞
这时却如春暖花开
纷飞的来雁
让人记起她从前的色彩

感怀
热烈的话语之后远方不再一穷二白
有倔强的树在遥想中
张开枝桠
梦想也如生命一样能够成长
今天再说起她来
或者一切应该

记起女孩

Love like falling peach blossoms(three poems)
by huangjuan


1. make music by tree leaf

When birds sing in his heart
sunshine bright the mountain
girl in mind beautiful like new bud
the melody of spring
melodious music then move out betweet lips

When he was a child
he sticked on a ox
learned the man to put a leaf between lips
now,what leaf make what tone
he get it clear like love

Whistle a leaf
the true qualities sound
blow all around mountail like wind
natural grain
better than sounds of nature

2. love like falling peach blossoms

Had to roam from a city to another

met a disaster of love
the tear when she went to see a boy in an arranged meeting
couldn't drop as a dewdrop
it had to hit in the holiday in strange lane


Come back home with a seed
though she had a bad day
she didn't fear to open
around hillside in March
Her smiling face among a plenty peach blossoms
look so beautiful
3.remenber the girl

The news heard continuously
about the girl in basic level
She went so long and never been heard of since
everybody have alread forgot her
but now,it just like flowers open in Spring
the birds from countryside
make people remenber her charm before


Recall with emotion
after warm talk
the far isn't nothing againt
there is gruff tree stretch out branches in recalling
today she be mentioned
maybe it's certenly

miss the girl


08.1.12晚上译
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[jemmy]

弟兄们,前后2首已经有人替我翻译了,只是中间这首麻烦,快给点意见
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[jemmy]

漏了一句:there is gruff tree stretch out branch in recalling
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[nobody]

啊,专家们都挣外快去了.
不懂英文诗. 但直觉上,首先有很多语法错误,不知是不是在诗里可被特许? 另,可能不太有诗味,因为连我都看得懂. 从节奏上,哈哈.
还是等斑竹和其他专家们来透视下吧.

但是觉得原文中文挺好的.
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I'm nobody! Who are you?

[jemmy]

在20号之前我得寄出,要不你译?
_________________
http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[nobody]

哈,我现在一塌糊涂呢,查我最近的帖子就知道了,多次提到,25日后才有空.
另外,我的水平也忒洼了.英文不够好.你可以问问lake等...觉得还要下较大功夫才行呢. 人家帮你应该算coauthor哟
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I'm nobody! Who are you?

[jemmy]

没有报酬,只有2本书,我和另外一个译者已经瓜分了,若有第3个只有看看能否购买.不行我就发自己的就是了.
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[白水]

哈, 回来了. 祝贺

[William Zhou周道模]

英语似有可改之处。
make music by tree leaf --- make music with a leaf ?

请专家出场吧！
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诗歌是灵魂的歌唱.
周道模

[kino]

不好意思，我20号才回来，今天才看到你这个是要发表。英文是有些毛病，比如the girl in basic level，令人费解。但既然也已发表，就不必再改了，呵呵

另外，下次发帖，最好能把中文隔行和每首诗的题目都标清除，否则显得有点乱，我都不知道从哪儿开始的。

[jemmy]

kino,聆听指教.诗歌虽然已经寄了,但还要学习,而且,不是不再往外投稿嘛.
朋友帮我译了1,3首,第2首她觉得难.我想,译文从来有多个译本,多学习没坏处
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http://blog.sina.com.cn/sowhy

[钓月]

原诗不错!
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欲钓那只太阳,却钓了一轮月亮

http://www.hongxiu.com/my.asp?id=1310875
http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanqirong