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《光荣之路》
迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-11 19:56:26    Post subject: 《光荣之路》 Reply with quote

去吧,到爱的故乡
呵护那受伤的花儿

乌云并不能持久于潮头
枝叶紧紧连结着根须

阳光和月色
在大地相逢

世上总有不一样的花
将要开放
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nobody
进士出身


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
nobodyCollection
PostPosted: 2008-01-12 21:04:00    Post subject: Reply with quote

阳光和月色
在大地相逢

挺好。

世上总有
不一样的花,将要开放

也挺好。是第三次出现 Laughing 帮你数着呢 Laughing
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半溪明月
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-12 23:06:48    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
阳光和月色
...

呵呵,会数数啦~ Very Happy
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nobody
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Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 2651
Location: Madtown
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PostPosted: 2008-01-13 08:00:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

半溪明月 wrote:
nobody wrote:
阳光和月色
...

呵呵,会数数啦~ Very Happy


11以内,没问题 Laughing
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-13 08:31:09    Post subject: Reply with quote

多次修该, 感觉已与原先的诗歌没什么关联了.

清新, 精辟.
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溪语
秀才


Joined: 16 Mar 2007
Posts: 509
Location: 中国恩施
溪语Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-14 01:26:04    Post subject: Reply with quote

世上总有
不一样的花,将要开放
-------好感觉.
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嘉慕思
童生


Joined: 12 Jan 2008
Posts: 78
Location: 佳木斯
嘉慕思Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-15 00:42:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

伤我者花也 爱恨交加者花也 我之坟者 花也
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赵雅君
童生


Joined: 07 Aug 2007
Posts: 99

赵雅君Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-15 03:51:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

精短而耐品的诗歌,欣赏!
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李智强
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Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 169
Location: 莆田.福建.中国
李智强Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-15 19:12:47    Post subject: Reply with quote

问好迪拜老师。
原稿我还未拜读。至于这个我能不能做以下解读:
去吧,到爱的故乡
呵护那受伤的花儿 ----------胜利日是战后,一切“花儿”都很受伤?

阳光和月色
在大地相逢 --------胜利后喜气洋洋,彻夜狂欢?

世上总有
不一样的花,将要开放 ----------------新面貌,新诗章?
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【狂到世人皆欲杀】
【醉来天子不能传】
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-15 23:42:13    Post subject: Reply with quote

有偏差。

应该是这样:

很多事件,经过艰苦的斗争,取得了胜利(不单纯指战争)

在斗争的过程中,会有人受到了伤害,或者,家园受到破坏,

所以,胜利后,该做什么?

尤其,当代社会(整个世界)已经进入“人文社会”,

“以人为本”,是“第一要素”

----第一段,表现“善”。


第二段,写景色,表现“美”

在景色的烘托下,

想到了什么?

----“世上总有/不一样的花,将要开放”

这是“自然界的客观事实”

以此来表达“对新事物,新世界的向往”

而且,是“肯定的”。

----第3段,写“真”。

大多数人,

看到“胜利”,就想到“战争”

假如,能跳出“固定的思维”,

就容易理解了。

这首诗歌,不是对标题的解释

要把“标题”连在一起看,

“真,善,美”--

岂不是“胜利”的标志吗?


而,结尾,用“自然的客观事实”来表达“人生哲理”。
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李智强
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Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 169
Location: 莆田.福建.中国
李智强Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-16 16:33:51    Post subject: Reply with quote

谢迪拜老师分析,没想到诗歌含有这么深层次的意义啊```问好`!多指点我哦。。``
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-16 16:44:24    Post subject: Reply with quote

nobody wrote:
半溪明月 wrote:
nobody wrote:
阳光和月色
...

呵呵,会数数啦~ Very Happy


11以内,没问题 Laughing


逗!美国股市还在跌,没底了.这两行幽默,此刻更显不同.

迪拜厉害,这么"轻拢慢捻抹复挑",
别把花捻断了就好. Smile
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-16 16:50:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

让先生见笑了

是一时的灵感

觉得好

就不舍得了

自私了。
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博弈
榜眼


Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2008-01-16 17:04:33    Post subject: Reply with quote

说笑余,敬佩你的写诗精神.
就得这样.
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