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《雪后访大河村遗址》
萨福
童生


Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 32

萨福Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-11 22:22:29    Post subject: 《雪后访大河村遗址》 Reply with quote

雪后的大河已失滔滔
不见大雁南飞的踪影,我哭啊!
一个在城市迷路的女人

鱼开始眠于水底,岸上
渔夫忙碌着织补春天的网

南岸的村子里,母亲
不停耕种,她收获的小麦种子
如今落在男人手中

红色的陶罐盛满浆果,孩子们
奔跑在森林里,还有那些花儿还有那些草儿

那些野兽那些飞禽,却在越来越锋利的武器下
奄奄一息,土地上的土越来越少

我哭啊,一个在城市迷路的女人
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-12 00:17:32    Post subject: Reply with quote

一个在城市迷路的女人
她的眼里,看到的此情此景
她还有什么?

令人感动和震撼的诗歌
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萨福
童生


Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 32

萨福Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-13 19:58:43    Post subject: Reply with quote

和平岛 wrote:
一个在城市迷路的女人
她的眼里,看到的此情此景
她还有什么?

令人感动和震撼的诗歌


谢谢和平岛,作版主真不容易,再烂的诗也要读也要回,嘿嘿....
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 21:19:27    Post subject: Reply with quote

萨福 wrote:
和平岛 wrote:
一个在城市迷路的女人
她的眼里,看到的此情此景
她还有什么?

令人感动和震撼的诗歌


谢谢和平岛,作版主真不容易,再烂的诗也要读也要回,嘿嘿....


你的诗歌很有质感的
非一日之功呀
Very Happy
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 23:16:18    Post subject: Re: 《雪后访大河村遗址》 Reply with quote

萨福 wrote:


鱼开始眠于水底,岸上
渔夫忙碌着织补春天的网

南岸的村子里,母亲
不停耕种,她收获的小麦种子
如今落在男人手中

...

那些野兽那些飞禽,却在越来越锋利的武器下
奄奄一息,土地上的土越来越少

我哭啊,一个在城市迷路的女人


精彩的文字  成熟的诗风 特别的切入面!


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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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和平岛
举人


Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 1277
Location: Victoria, Canada
和平岛Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 23:22:15    Post subject: Reply with quote

愈读愈喜欢的诗歌
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杨光
秀才


Joined: 01 Jun 2006
Posts: 683

杨光Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-14 23:49:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

我哭啊!
一个在城市迷路的女人
铺垫基础上的情感宣泄,感人的
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杨光的语言空间

http://blog.sina.com.cn/languagespace
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孙慧峰
童生


Joined: 09 Oct 2006
Posts: 97

孙慧峰Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-15 02:28:59    Post subject: Reply with quote

情感深挚的诗歌~
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左岸
秀才


Joined: 12 Oct 2006
Posts: 215
Location: 中国大连
左岸Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-17 19:38:58    Post subject: Reply with quote

吟唱似的叙述方式,有民谣的风味,场景广阔,一嗟三叹,喜欢
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黑暗怎样焊住灵魂的银河
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萨福
童生


Joined: 07 Oct 2006
Posts: 32

萨福Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-18 00:36:40    Post subject: Reply with quote

多谢各位老师点评。还得向各位高手多学习才是呢。。。。
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维鹿延
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Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 212
Location: 中国广东
维鹿延Collection
PostPosted: 2006-12-20 08:21:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

城市女人迷失了什么?
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散步者身体里面的声音
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