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《５》　品玉来迟了......
品玉
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Joined: 18 Apr 2007
Posts: 156
Location: 吉林
品玉Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-22 01:46:14    Post subject: 《５》　品玉来迟了...... Reply with quote
kokho
真高兴能与您学习以及交流，愿板块越办越红火！
请kokho斑竹真诚赐教！
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孤独的执烛者，在黑暗的水面上留下火苗的伤口～～～～～
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-11-22 02:01:25    Post subject: Reply with quote
不迟不迟
相互交流学习
共同促进进步
Very Happy
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kokho
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Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-11-22 07:33:29    Post subject: Reply with quote
.

热烈欢迎　品玉　美媚







。
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乒乓、摄影、诗歌
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kokho
进士出身


Joined: 30 Nov 2006
Posts: 2642
Location: Singapore
kokhoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-12-03 12:18:06    Post subject: Reply with quote
品玉 wrote:
这是于光中；【等你, 在雨中】

等你, 在雨中, 在造虹的雨中
　蝉声沉落, 蛙声升起
一池的红莲如红焰, 在雨中

你来不来都一样, 竟感觉
　每朵莲都像你
尤其隔着黄昏, 隔着这样的细雨

永恒, 刹那, 刹那, 永恒
　等你, 在时间之? 在时间之内, 等你, 在刹那, 在永恒

如果你的手在我的手里, 此刻
　如果你的清芬
在我的鼻孔, 我会说, 小情人

诺, 这只手应该采莲, 在吴宫
　这只手应该
摇一柄桂浆, 在木兰舟中

一颗星悬在科学馆的飞檐
　耳坠子一般的悬着
瑞士表说都七点了　忽然你走来

步雨後的红莲, 翩翩, 你走来
　　　　　像一首小令
从一则爱情的典故里你走来

从姜白石的词里, 有韵地, 你走来

我喜欢抒情诗歌，所以就选了这首。没找到有关评论，个人拙见。
这是一首深邃的抒情诗，作者第一句就把我们带入一个如云的情感世界里，
[等你, 在雨中, 在造虹的雨中]语言的渗透让我走进另一个雨虹迷离的境地。

《婉约》

我从荒漠中走来
苍茫中与你
不约相眸
只那瞬间
灵魂去天簌回放
在云的深处相拥
时空隧道为我们架起
七色彩虹

冥冥中
神奇的撞击
只那回响
击碎我
幽深的涵洞
我从荒漠中走来
寻找丢失的
一米眸光

这我的作业，请各位学辈审评。并祝大家周末愉快！
谢谢！
品玉

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kokho
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PostPosted: 2007-12-03 12:19:42    Post subject: Reply with quote
。

这里 有几位，都交 超过一首作业呢 ：）

我的 评论开始了。。

会等你的。。。

。
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