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《写给远方的朋友》(外二首)
半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-05 21:48:27    Post subject: 《写给远方的朋友》(外二首) Reply with quote

《写给远方的朋友》
文/半溪明月


悄悄飞来,又默默离去
阳光栖息的枝头,遗落的磷粉
闪着耀眼动人的银光

夜里,栽种黄荆和金橘
酿造一屋子花蜜和芳香
朋友,你像一只蝴蝶
寻着花香,翩翩而来

每个黄昏,习惯守侯河边
看雾气升腾成高高的云翥
为你,举一盏不眠的风灯

我知道:能读懂我的人
不多,而你是最忠诚的一个


《事件》

行迹可疑

女人秘密聚集,亮出刀子
夜,忍疼,怕伤及无辜

越来越膨胀的气球
幸福地恐惧着

幸福,最终
烟花一样爆裂


《半夜一点》

女孩自杀了,就在昨夜
他的拒绝和俯视的高度
足以让伤心欲绝的心坠落,跌碎
当秋风扫落最后一片红叶
他得瑟着哭:哲学的马脸
苍白,它是晃荡人间的冥使
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杯中冲浪
进士出身


Joined: 29 Sep 2006
Posts: 2891
Location: 中国
杯中冲浪Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 03:13:17    Post subject: Reply with quote

很不错,手法、断句都不错。

每个黄昏,习惯守侯河边
看雾气升腾成高高的云翥
为你,举一盏不眠的风灯

我知道:能读懂我的人
不多,而你是最忠诚的一个
——————真诚真情。
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杯中冲浪.披履而行
http://blog.sina.com.cn/shoutao006
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白水
大学士


Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 19:24:03    Post subject: Reply with quote

语感不错.

他得瑟着哭
得瑟? 东北方言?
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韩少君
进士出身


Joined: 06 Apr 2007
Posts: 2558
Location: 吉林四平
韩少君Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 23:57:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

你好.拜读!
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靠才华为自己带来幸福的是才子;靠才华为自己带来痛苦的是诗人!!http://blog.sina.com.cn/hanshaojun345
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沙漠
秀才


Joined: 26 Jan 2007
Posts: 977
Location: 中国温州
沙漠Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 04:03:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢《事件》,问好!
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个人博客http://blog.sina.com.cn/u/1056295180
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舒中
秀才


Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Posts: 133

舒中Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 06:41:29    Post subject: Reply with quote

喜欢事件,问好明月
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遛达的七七
秀才


Joined: 07 Jun 2006
Posts: 329

遛达的七七Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 22:07:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

白水 Moonlight wrote:
语感不错.

他得瑟着哭
得瑟? 东北方言?


我也乐这得瑟呢 Smile)
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