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尘土
墨染红颜
童生


Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 69

墨染红颜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-22 00:16:03    Post subject: 尘土 Reply with quote

尘土

我是一粒漂浮的尘土
不小心坠落于你的掌心
没有重量没有色彩
只有一丝的渴望
贪婪享受点滴的温暖

当你抬起手,我便不再重生

20070122
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hepingdao
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Joined: 25 May 2006
Posts: 8106

hepingdaoCollection
PostPosted: 2007-01-22 00:18:36    Post subject: Reply with quote

当你抬起手,我便不再重生

不错
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半溪明月
榜眼


Joined: 30 Sep 2006
Posts: 4760

半溪明月Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-22 09:34:44    Post subject: Reply with quote

轻巧的一首,问好红颜~ Very Happy
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黄昏雨
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Joined: 17 Jan 2007
Posts: 67
Location: 福建
黄昏雨Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-25 23:52:52    Post subject: Reply with quote

轻与重处理得很好。问好红颜。
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手在弦上,心在风中
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下一个偶像是野兽
秀才


Joined: 16 Jan 2007
Posts: 504
Location: 西安
下一个偶像是野兽Collection
PostPosted: 2007-01-26 04:21:30    Post subject: Reply with quote

微小的尘土和宏大的命运。
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黑色闪电
童生


Joined: 25 Dec 2006
Posts: 19

黑色闪电Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 06:39:55    Post subject: Reply with quote

精巧,隽永的小诗,令人回味再三
唉,我们都是尘埃
问好墨染红颜
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博弈
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Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 4381
Location: SFO
博弈Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-06 10:46:39    Post subject: Reply with quote

此诗只可机缘得啊(僭越见谅)

《墨染红颜》

(1)

"
我是一粒漂浮的尘土
不小心坠落于你的掌心
没有重量没有色彩
只有一丝的渴望
贪婪享受点滴的温暖

当你抬起手,我便不再重生
"


(1-)

不贵字 不贵多
贵的就是
高 真高 笔名 诗 (
若结合画) 黑色不是真正的
空的概念 整个一尘不 完美演绎
北美枫




(ps)

目前我所见的最好的一首禅诗。
可触类 Yves Klein 的画禅。
以为手是实,尘是空;
其实无,其实影;
又何其实?

可以google Yves Klein 便知。 这首,我学习!
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墨染红颜
童生


Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 69

墨染红颜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 21:07:22    Post subject: Reply with quote

呵呵,刚刚上网时,用小家碧玉的名字,发觉很多重复,而自己喜欢书,偶也写点,岁月流逝,在文字中做着梦,便用了墨染这个名字,多谢!!
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迪拜
同进士出身


Joined: 31 Oct 2006
Posts: 1588

迪拜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 21:35:56    Post subject: Reply with quote

不错的诗歌

但是,最后一句有点疑问:

“尘土”没有润滑性,很可能粘在手上,

对于这样的短诗来说,似乎,不太严谨。



如果,说的不对,请见谅。
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白水
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Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 14102
Location: TORONTO
白水Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 21:40:06    Post subject: Reply with quote

灵动, 温馨
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墨染红颜
童生


Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 69

墨染红颜Collection
PostPosted: 2007-11-07 21:52:21    Post subject: Reply with quote

迪拜 wrote:
不错的诗歌

但是,最后一句有点疑问:

“尘土”没有润滑性,很可能粘在手上,

对于这样的短诗来说,似乎,不太严谨。



如果,说的不对,请见谅。


感谢!!
这个题目本来是一个字“尘”。呵呵,很轻、不注意似乎感觉不到看不见的意思,嘿嘿,是想表达这样的意思呢:)
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